Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Today, I noticed that the floor outside our bathroom was covered in toenail clippings. I asked my husband what had happened. Turns out, he saves time by clipping his nails onto the floor and then sweeping them out into the hall, where they get lodged in the carpet. FML
Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML
Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML
Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML
Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML
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Top comments
Senseless_487 29
He really should have toed you about that.
mea_iloveskiing 26
At least you didn't find another woman's underwear :)
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Comments (116)
BeeHMC 9
I'll add that to my list of "Things to ask about before getting married." Thank you
swampbaby985 30
You didn't move in together BEFORE he became your husband?
Punphmelch 9
I didn't move in with my husband before we were married. Not everyone moves in together before marriage. In fact, out of everyone I know, only one couple has, purely because they had a child together first (by accident, but he is still loved nonetheless), and they are getting married this year.
DotDootyDot 17
I guess everybody needs a hobby??
tika12991 15
Whoa, wait, I have so many questions. Your husband? And you've only been living together a week? Granted, it does happen, but not very often in this day and age... and also, your HUSBAND's room? You have separate bedrooms? And why were you cleaning his bedroom anyway? Unless there's vermin coming out of it, that's HIS responsibility.
Punphmelch 9
See my comment to #74. Plus, it could be the place was his before she moved in after the wedding. My husband and I bought our first home together, but he's still in the habit of calling our room just his, and we've been married for almost 5 months.
drshn 22
Is it just me or did anybody thought of Dexter when you first read it.
Anamalak 10
That's gross, but I'm confused about something. How have you only been living with your husband for a week? How long have you been married?
Defecately 18
his room? don't you sleep together?
StickyPickles 33
aaahhhh real monsters!!!
anyoldnamewilldo 23
Add this to my already long list of reasons to live together before getting married.
Language_girl97 15
I think I saw that in a movie once... Still disgusting, though.