Today, less than a week after moving in together, I decided to clean out my husband's messy room. In the process, I found a jar containing what appears to be a toenail collection. I don't think I'll ever regain my appetite. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Today, I noticed that the floor outside our bathroom was covered in toenail clippings. I asked my husband what had happened. Turns out, he saves time by clipping his nails onto the floor and then sweeping them out into the hall, where they get lodged in the carpet. FML
Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML
Today, I went out for a smoke before dinner. I glanced through the window only to see my husband take my cooking scissors, cut his toe nails and then put them back in the utensils canister without washing them. FML
Today, I was walking in my apartment when I felt something stab my foot. Thinking it was a piece of glass, I looked down. It was one of my roommate's toenail clippings. FML
Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML
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Top comments
Senseless_487 29
He really should have toed you about that.
mea_iloveskiing 26
At least you didn't find another woman's underwear :)
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Comments (116)
\ 28
Is toenail collection some sort of trend? God...
WCARlover 35
It would make a nice centerpiece for your table at the housewarming party, OP!
olpally 33
Throw them out! That's ******* nasty. I don't care if he complains.
Ari1337 15
that's rude, you don't know how hard he worked to collect those!
SouthernLady12 13
Can't just throw them out... they need to be burned!
royalsgrl 14
I agree thats nasty gross and disturbing. I would just toss them ewwww
buckdharma 38
Maybe you should start with something light like some tofu.
angiemarie96 25
What
\ 28
I think he's describing a way to help OP get her appetite back
bystandling 1
In which case... heh... TOEfu.
BellaBelle_fml 23
Soon after I first moved in with my ex husband I was cleaning around his computer and I found 3 water bottles full of his putrefied urine stuffed inside the exposed shell of his computer. He is an internet and online gaming addict that he couldn't be bothered to take the whole 4 steps to the bathroom.
applebramble 22
That is über gross!! I'm glad he's an ex husband now . Good for you #20
EMT3713 14
So, not only did he use bottles instead of going to the bathroom, he couldn't be bothered to throw them away before his wife found them... That's wrong on so many levels. I would prefer the toenails honestly. Disgusting.
drshn 22
I thought this was just am urban legend. gamers addiction. This is one of the weirdest thing ever.
z0mBi3kiTTy 18
ugh!!!! I found piss in Gatorade bottles inside of my ex's pinball machine. One of the many reasons that now, they are EXES! Just disgusting!
BellaBelle_fml 23
Internet and online gaming addictions are far too real. It was a major factor in the ruining of our marriage. He would play from the moment he woke up until the moment he went to sleep with the only breaks being work, taking a shit, or occasionally showering. He never paid me any attention or affection unless he wanted sex, which was not very often and he only wanted to get it in, cum, and go back to gaming. The only way I could spend time with him was if I sat there watching Netflix while he was in the same room playing games with his massive headphones on to block me out and laughing and talking it up with his online friends while completely ignoring my existence. He never watched TV or movies with me. He never took me out on a date in our entire relationship. He never cuddled with me. He refused to teach me how to play games so that I could spend time with him doing stuff he liked. He never did ANYTHING with me or for me. All he cared about was himself and his stupid online games. I didn't mind people playing online games before him, but now I can't stand them at all. I will not allow a computer in my bedroom again and I will not tolerate being in a relationship with someone who would rather be gaming than spending time with me. Been there, done that, and have the divorce papers to prove it.
frizz101 22
I hope your ex got help, but good for you for getting out of a crappy marriage. It sucks that online games are a deal breaker now, a lot of the games, when played in moderation, are a lot of fun and a great way to relax.
clair_brodie 35
He obviously did not just up and start doing this one day after you were married so I am going to say all the signs were there BEFORE you were married.,
phony54 1
Why did you marry the douche in the first place?
BellaBelle_fml 23
Yeah, he played games a lot before we were married but it was different. He lived in another town and I didn't have my own car and had to use my dad's car to go places. And since my dad works at a funeral home he is on-call 24/7 so he needed access to a vehicle at all times. It was very hard to see Jimmy and we didn't see each other but maybe 1-3 times every other week. So when we did get to see each other we just stayed home and talked…amongst other things, lol. He would actually spend time with me back then. And he was a sweet man to me. Maybe 3 months into our marriage is when things started to get really bad and he started to ignore me. We were together for 6 months before we eloped at the courthouse. I know, it's not a lot of time to get to know someone but we actually met at the same private school when I was 12 and he was 16. So we had known each other for 10 years. Neither of us were really ready for marriage. But I changed my way of thinking and grew up to make myself ready. You have to change your mindset somewhat in marriage. But he never grew up and took responsibility or even tried to make our marriage work. He got worse. He would constantly put me down and call me fat, lazy, childish, and just plain stupid. He never told me I was attractive. He never made me feel like I was important to him. He never made me feel wanted. He even stopped saying I love you, I had to say it first. I sank into depression so hard. He made me feel so uncomfortable to be myself around him. But I held onto the hope that maybe, one day, things would work out of I just stuck around and kept trying. But it was to no avail and he kicked me out last November. I asked him why he married me and if he even loved me anymore or ever. His response was, "I really don't know why I got married, not just to you, but to anyone. I've decided that marriage is not for the likes of me. I like my freedom. And yeah, I did love you but not anymore." And you know what the kicker was? He couldn't even man up and say any of those things to my face. Almost all of our communication was via texting. Shit, he even told me to leave via text! I'll admit that marrying him was a massive mistake. But I would do it again because I did love him at the time and he did make me feel good about myself before marriage. Also, if I hadn't gone through such a terrible relationship and treated with such neglect, then I wouldn't appreciate the way my boyfriend treats me with such kindness, respect, love, and makes me feel like I'm actually worth being with and loved and wanted to the same extent as I do. Of course I would love and appreciate him regardless. But having been treated the way I was and now being treated the way I deserve makes me want to try harder and do as much as I can for Dave. Sorry for the rant, but it felt good to get that all out. Whew!
rydersmomma16 21
Why the hell did you marry him? You didn't notice this addiction before that? Or dos it develop after you got married? That sucks so sorry.
emilyyy_maryyy 14
My art teacher is proud of his...
dangerkneener 4
who cares
Ghost_Kaulitz 16
You could always throw it away and if he asks,tell him you don't know what happened to it.
parism143 28
Or OP could just question why he had a toenail collection in the first place, since she wouldn't even have known about it.
tatertotx3 16
Can't tell whose worst. Your husband or the use condom keeper husband.
DishnobFruitCum 5
Your grammar.
Barlucic 5
This guy, The "Condom Keeper" was trying to romantic, granite he failed, He still tryed.
anon137 7
Sorry....I just have to....*tried
gracehi 33
You missed *granted
Ladisa 28
-puts on sunglasses- Nailed it.
Enslaved 38
Macaroni art? Nah, just use those nail clippings.