By single - 10/11/2010 02:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 402
You deserved it 7 609

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HentaiBunny 4

You should have replied with 'Did you want to enter the fiery pits of mordor?' And then spread em ;D

rawr_dani 0



rawr_dani 0


precious pussy?


Tell him to change into smeagle...he is way more sweet and sensitive with the ladys....

JustStopSucking 0

It wouldn't have been so bad, had he not been riding a massive horse.

you spelled "my mom" wrong.

61: Wtf? That's a different FML.

When he put it in did he disappear?

haha thts cute! at least you're a precious to him and not like something he'll throw away

smiles4life 1

haha perhaps he was trying to ease the tension? lol who knows guys can sometimes have weird ways of showing affection.

lmao my boyfriend did something similar except that he stood in my bathroom doorway and said "my precious" and then ran and jumped onto my bed doing that Tarzan thing. I couldn't stop laughing for the longest time.

herkysfinest 0

shut up virgin

mcxhunni 0

yeah, i would have never graduated college if it werent for my llama.

Hahah 90 epic win I bet he did

LOL. That's hot ;]

Her boyfriend's gonna make her turn into your picture...

this fml made me smile :]

dont worry, op! it's just his solution to coming early! ;P

_Vamp_ 9

91, I not only smiled, but I was in the middle of class and busted out laughing uncontrollably. I imagined that spider crawl towards her while doing that voice, OMG that's funny.

haha that is indeed sexy

Well, that's one way to turn someone on. ;) Bow chicka wah wah..

emmanizzer 6

mmm what a turn on.

damn right it is lol

KatherineAnne 7

My boyfriend calls me his "sexy khajiit" (elder scrolls reference for u dumb boring ppl out there) and I think it's the cutest thing ever. Specially when he pins me down and growls at me. :)

LulusLemon 8

that's just weird..

he should stay a virgin !!

he should. you turned out so well.

Well, they are from Virginia...

it's safe to assume he is based on his actions.

gotmilk23 0


SkyEatsJack 4

Maybe he just wanted to over play his insecurity, unlikely though.

MaximilianMarche 0

#100 is a fail. taking all the fun out of fml. and yes he is Probably a virgin especially if he thought to do that while about to have sex

says the guy with a faggot canadian + hockey jersey.

wriptidez 0


jitterbug25 0

wow! sue him for having asense if humor!

lenalee96 22


BobbingForOlives 2

Look at it this way. Maybe he's trying to say he values you so much that he'd kill for you. Ok, maybe that doesn't make it better.

lol! what a winner

NotYourOrdinary7 6

Uhhh. Attractive much? But hahaha this is funny.

gusgus36 5

hahaha what a nerd! and anything that makes you think of Gollum is pretty much the hugest turnoff ever... great start to your first time

hello hotty

#9 There's nothing wrong with being a nerd! Some people are actually attracted to nerds. How "shocking!"

im a girl, and a huge movie geek... so yes id find that pretty hilarious if my bf did that.hmmm yes thatd be fun.

yeah really this is worse than that guy dressing up as Harry potter and saying he's going to stick his basilisk into her chamber lol

oh and I'm a nerd btw lol I love anime it's just that golem is freaky lol

159, win :D And he's not a nerd for being funny. Like, who hasn't seen Lord of the Rings? Even though it wasn't that great:/ And yeah big shocker people like nerds. How horrid.

that comment seriously just made my night XD

Yeah, but there's nothing seductive about that... unless you're into role-playing.

HentaiBunny 4

You should have replied with 'Did you want to enter the fiery pits of mordor?' And then spread em ;D

ooooh dear


Your awesome.

"fiery pits"? They have medicine for that.

cream works well I hear

I want to marry you.

ShadyFTW1 0

10 you just pit me in a great mood. haha

10 is an epic ^Win. just saying.

it'd only /really/ work if she was a redhead

lmfao! best comment ever!

Okay, 10 just won the Internet.

A+ comment. XD

lol that's hot

wow. I agree, #10 wins the Internet! Also, #56 your profile description is hilarious and I'm stealing that line.

AmberishRed 3

Now that is f*king hilarious lol

lmao awesome time

lmao awesome time

Win on both the name and the comment. :D

that is hilarious!!!! rofl

hahaha nice ine:-D

K3nnyLaGrange 0

You're hot :)

^greatest win!