Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "Fuck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML
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Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
Today, I met my fiancé's parents for the first time. The only problem was that I was highly intoxicated. FML
Today, I was out to dinner with my boyfriend and his parents. It was my first time meeting them, so I was a bit nervous. As we were talking, I accidentally let out a loud burp. His parents looked at me in shock, and my boyfriend just laughed and said, "Well, she's certainly comfortable around you two." FML
Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time and hoped to make a good first impression. When I tried to say 'Hello', a loud rippling burp came up from my throat, and not only that. A small chunk of mucus flew out and landed on the floor between us. So much for a good first impression. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Today, after my first dinner with my new girlfriend, I was using a toothpick when I fell, stabbing the roof of my mouth. She then laughed at me, as there was so much blood. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend’s parents for the first time. I got nervous and tried to say, "Nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you!" when I should’ve just said, "It’s nice to meet you." To make things worse, it came out as, "Nice to hear you, I’ve met a lot about you." FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
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Top comments
UnionsSuck 5
Don't feel bad everyone has done something like that at some point or other in their life
darwinism 30
In a situation like this it is always best to continue speaking (and not hold your tongue, as the saying goes. e.g. Mum in law " How is it" OP "**** *slight pause* ...ing awesome!!! My taste buds just ejaculated all over my tongue" OK, you can leave the second line out when talking to the inlaws, but you get the picture, right? Practice will perfect the skill. FYL
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Comments (120)
Vicy_fml 0
Pretty sure if you immediately start the inevitable muffled apology and explain you accidentally bit your tongue it'll be ok. You'll get laughed at, but should be fine.
perdix 31
You're lying about steak being your favo(u)rite food. It's not even your favo(u)rite cut of beef: that would be tongue!
greenie213 23
Human tongue is not beef. Just thought you should know.
The_CL0GGER 0
Where's the beef?
Shit_talkin_chik 5
59 so true! Sad to be a part of this generation!
melij99 5
Calm down 83. You don't have to yell about how sad you are.
cryssycakesx3 23
cows do have tongues, bro.
Ajwc101 24
Just explain
xgetxbentx 13
So follow up with "sorry, I bit my tongue really hard, it's very good thank you". It could have been worse, you could have said "shit".
AussieChild 22
'****' is way worse than shit!
AussieChild 22
Ha nooo, as a swear word :P The word 'shit' is much more socially acceptable
xladylarienx 18
How can you be engaged to someone and never have met their parents? I call fake.
Harpy20 24
Because some people would rather wait until things get really serious before they take someone home to their family. Of the people that I have dated my family has only met two of them. Also my father never met any of my dates because we don't live in the same state anymore. Shit happens.
TahoeFMler 22
Really, you had to yell ****? You bit your tongue. It happens. Rude.
Harpy20 24
God DAMN these fickle pain thresholds!! Pretty sure he didn't yell it, given the circumstance and wording of the fml.
TahoeFMler 22
Pardon me "you had to blurt out ****?"
Harpy20 24
That damned tongue-bite. I'm sure when you tried to explain you spoke a little oddly since your tongue was trying to escape the tortures of your mouth. She'll probably understand, if not your fiancée will most likely vouch for you.
simonepedretti 7
Bad timinggg!
kikks_xx 10
its just a word OP, apologize and move on
coffeeandcream 8
you could've been like "Fu*k! this is some kick a** steak!"