Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "Fuck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
Today, I met my fiancé's parents for the first time. The only problem was that I was highly intoxicated. FML
Today, I was out to dinner with my boyfriend and his parents. It was my first time meeting them, so I was a bit nervous. As we were talking, I accidentally let out a loud burp. His parents looked at me in shock, and my boyfriend just laughed and said, "Well, she's certainly comfortable around you two." FML
Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time and hoped to make a good first impression. When I tried to say 'Hello', a loud rippling burp came up from my throat, and not only that. A small chunk of mucus flew out and landed on the floor between us. So much for a good first impression. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Today, after my first dinner with my new girlfriend, I was using a toothpick when I fell, stabbing the roof of my mouth. She then laughed at me, as there was so much blood. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend’s parents for the first time. I got nervous and tried to say, "Nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you!" when I should’ve just said, "It’s nice to meet you." To make things worse, it came out as, "Nice to hear you, I’ve met a lot about you." FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
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Top comments
UnionsSuck 5
Don't feel bad everyone has done something like that at some point or other in their life
darwinism 30
In a situation like this it is always best to continue speaking (and not hold your tongue, as the saying goes. e.g. Mum in law " How is it" OP "**** *slight pause* ...ing awesome!!! My taste buds just ejaculated all over my tongue" OK, you can leave the second line out when talking to the inlaws, but you get the picture, right? Practice will perfect the skill. FYL
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Comments (120)
Calyx_fml 22
Foyck. It's Armenian for "like goat excrement"!
The_CL0GGER 0
At least your Mother in law isnt a huge bitch like alot of other stories on this site.
Myo_fml 20
Why would you use a picture of a road killed squirrel as your profile pic? No one wants to see that. -.-
The_CL0GGER 0
50- Why do you care? its none of your business.
Myo_fml 20
Because it's vulgar.
lepuppykicker 15
Why do you have that picture as your profile picture? Why do I have what I have as my profile picture? Because we want to. Let up on him. If you don't like it just don't look at it. Or if you can't avoid looking at it, just think of it as alive.
John459 3
Hopefully things work out
SnaKiZe 3
i actually dont see how this is that big of a deal... it happens, and yelling "****" as an accidental response isnt a slap in the face to the mom...?
MrFuzzles 5
****!!!...in amazing!
briannac1 0
****!! This is the best steak I've had in my life!
grace12898 0
I'm the type of person that would know that that was not your answer, and would probably know you bit your tongue before you told me, I'm just that clumsy
SchlomoTheGrinch 18
The only way that could be embarrassing is if you didn't do anything to explain your outburst but just sat there like a mortified vegetable. I'm quite sure she's heard the word before, she's even tried the process (most likely, since she has a daughter and you never mentioned adoption). "F*CK! Oops, sry Mrs. MotherInLaw, I bit my tongue. What I meant to say was that it's so incredibly amazing that it caused me to lose my control of my tongue, which both the bite and the slip of it so aptly proved. Cheers!" Of course, that's bloody unlikely to happen in real life since only the rarest of men can be THAT suave =)
MDTeddy 13
F*ck! This is good! Nom nom nom.
mypanda_fml 0
How charming