Today, it was my first time meeting my fiancé's parents. My future mother-in-law had cooked steak, hearing it was my favourite food. I somehow managed to bite my tongue, and then blurt out "Fuck!" just after she asked me how it was. FML
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Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
Today, I met my fiancé's parents for the first time. The only problem was that I was highly intoxicated. FML
Today, I was out to dinner with my boyfriend and his parents. It was my first time meeting them, so I was a bit nervous. As we were talking, I accidentally let out a loud burp. His parents looked at me in shock, and my boyfriend just laughed and said, "Well, she's certainly comfortable around you two." FML
Today, my fiancé and I met his mother for lunch to discuss wedding plans. When we got there, I went to the bathroom to wash my hands. I heard a woman talking on her cell phone in the stall about her son's "disgusting, slutty girlfriend." The toilet flushed and my future mother-in-law walked out. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's mother for the first time and hoped to make a good first impression. When I tried to say 'Hello', a loud rippling burp came up from my throat, and not only that. A small chunk of mucus flew out and landed on the floor between us. So much for a good first impression. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML
Today, after my first dinner with my new girlfriend, I was using a toothpick when I fell, stabbing the roof of my mouth. She then laughed at me, as there was so much blood. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend’s parents for the first time. I got nervous and tried to say, "Nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you!" when I should’ve just said, "It’s nice to meet you." To make things worse, it came out as, "Nice to hear you, I’ve met a lot about you." FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML
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Top comments
UnionsSuck 5
Don't feel bad everyone has done something like that at some point or other in their life
darwinism 30
In a situation like this it is always best to continue speaking (and not hold your tongue, as the saying goes. e.g. Mum in law " How is it" OP "**** *slight pause* ...ing awesome!!! My taste buds just ejaculated all over my tongue" OK, you can leave the second line out when talking to the inlaws, but you get the picture, right? Practice will perfect the skill. FYL
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Comments (120)
Krysk_fml 0
Hmmmm you've already wrote this kind of comment on a previous FML Noor. Running out of ideas?
kraz8 1
Your brain has no filter, huh?
isis_morrigan 18
Well, you could have turned it into f&ck! This is the BEST!" and maybe it would've been forgiven?
mydadpulledout 17
So you didn't even ask her father's permission to marry his daughter? This generation disappoints me.
Teh_dw33bin4tor 2
I don't understand all the people who complain about "this generation", as if the very same people who bemoan the alleged disrespectful attitude of the current generation have forgotten who raised this current generation, and who's responsible for whom. Maybe before you complain about "kids these days", you take a good, long, hard look in the mirror, and figure out what you've done wrong to create this "generation" of kids that has apparently done so poorly. You, who have told us that we need to go to college to be happy, so that we can find a job that will allow us to buy our way free of our new indentured servitude that are the student loans we needed to take to get the job in the first place. You, who start wars that we don't want, that we don't support, that we don't need; in order to assert your manliness and dominance. You, who waste our money on projects, on bail-outs; who collect our monies for "social security", that we will never see back again as the whole program is going down the tube. As far as some people go, *cough #118 cough*, antiquated ideas such as that no longer have a commonplace in today's day-and-age. More to the point, you might as well whine about the fact that he didn't purchase the daughter from the father for 3 pigs, a bushel of wheat, and an acre of land. My real surprise is that they're engaged and they haven't even met each other's parents. My girlfriend met my parent's after practically 2 weeks of dating / hanging out. Same with hers and me.
mom0_fml 0
-how was the food? -****
interesting33 37
Asking permission is cute but isn't it her decision if she wants to marry him??
hiandrews69 29
Should have followed the "****!" with "This steak is amazing!"
Feldgrep 8
F*ck!.... That's some damn good steak!
rhettandlink 4
Ouch!!