Today, it was my first day of work at a very high end company. While delivering coffee to my boss, I set it down on the edge of a magazine, where it spilled over, into his crotch. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to a coffee shop to meet a potential client. As soon as I sat down, I knocked my coffee over, and it splashed all over my lap. I tried to play it off by making a joke, but I hadn’t brought a spare pair of pants, and the client turned up just as I was mopping my crotch with paper towels. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML
Today, I had an interview for a job I’ve dreamt about. I sat down in the lobby and spilled coffee on my crotch. I tried to dry it in the toilet, which made it look like I’d pissed myself. When I entered his office, the HR guy glanced down and said, “Long morning?” I panicked and replied, “No, just excited to be here.” FML
Today, I was walking to a café with my soon-to-be boss. While crossing a busy street, I slipped in a puddle and accidentally grabbed his junk to catch myself. FML
Today, I went to get myself a latte to make myself feel better after having a bad day. As soon as I sat down to enjoy it, I spilled it all over myself, another customer, and the floor. FML
Today, I had an appointment with the CEO of a big company about a game I'm going to make for them. The first thing I did after sitting down was to throw my coffee all over his desk. FML
Today, my colleague was wearing a beautiful dress. I decided that I had to go over and compliment her. As I walked over, my coffee cup flew out of my hand and onto said dress. She had to go home and change, and my boss had to cover for her. FML
Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML
Today, I went to Starbucks to get my free birthday coffee and due to a mistake I received two. Thinking it was my lucky day, I hurried off to work. As I was walking in, I tripped and spilt one coffee all over my new dress. Then I walked into a door and spilt the other. FML
Today, I went to go give my boss a high five for a job well done. I missed his hand and accidentally slapped his ass on the way down. FML
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Top comments
Ashle1gh 14
Did you offer to wipe it up? If you did it well enough, a promotion could've been in store for you.
flying_vegan 0
Maybe he asked for a lappuccino?
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Comments (71)
iloveloosy12 0
you were hired to be coffee girl at a 'high-end' place? that's not 'high-end' sounding
Sixpakastan 0
Should have started off Dear Penthouse.
dugumit 0
you should have helped him out and licked it up he would have appreciated and I'm sure u would of been a head for a promotion.
tomakobriefs 11
Yeah, that's why we set things that are hot in the middle of a table, not on top of anything. YDI.
blastvortex 4
Why didn't you set it down in a clear spot, silly goose?
Brian2127 0
sounds like a real high end job if you are serving your boss coffee!! what are you, a waitress?!!
RyeBreadBoy 0
high-end company, not high-end job. she's probably a secretary... and you can be a secretary lots of places. it doesn't make you special that your company is awesome if you're doing absolutely nothing to contribute to that.
FerrariCake 2
Why does the "high end" company matter? Because it's acceptable to spill coffee on your boss' package if you work at a low-end or just a medium-end company?
lettertjes 0
so the coffee started to spill... and then it stopped... but then it proceeded?
dunkelrosen 4
Look at the location of this FML-France. English is almost certainly the OP's second language. I think a lot of the criticism of her syntax stems from this-the nuances of a language are difficult to learn.
serenaaaa_fml 0
were u fired?
fmller12 0
sorry for a bad start of your job, but hey you can now be called that lady that spills coffee on her boss - at least you are going to be noticed.