Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, on my 11-year anniversary with my wife, I bought her a nice necklace and we went to an Indian restaurant where we had the most sensational banquet meal. When we got home, I suggested we made love, to which she replied, "I don't like you enough to do that." FML
Today, I thought I would be cute for my one year anniversary with my girlfriend, so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML
Today, I realized our life has been lacking in romance lately, so I got a card, a bunch of flowers, and made reservations at a lovely restaurant for a nice evening. When I got home and gave my wife the flowers, all she did was sigh and ask what I "fucked up this time." She also refused to go to dinner. FML
Today, it's my 2-year wedding anniversary. It also marks 2 years since my wife told me, "We're married now we don't need to have sex anymore." FML
Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML
Today, I sent the kids to my parents' house, tidied the house, and made reservations for a fancy restaurant, hoping to surprise my wife. When she got home and I handed her flowers, she sighed and said, "Can you stop with the stupid romance shit? It's embarrassing. We're six years married, not two moonstruck kids." FML
Today, it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML
Today, for our third anniversary, I gave my fiancée a necklace she always wanted. She gave me herpes. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML
Today, it was my first anniversary with my husband. Not only were we mad at each other and not speaking the whole day, he doesn't even remember and spent the night out with his friends instead. FML
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Top comments
bevsta 7
What a bitch
zebraumicornz 6
Well next time you should tell her after she spends hours making dinner "eating dinner is too clichè"
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Comments (65)
unluckyatlove1 6
We are only hearing his side of the story. What's her side?
CarouselHeart 11
To be honest, I feel bad for you but it does sound like you only did all that to get laid, not because you care.
Namenlos_fml 20
Turning things down because they're cliche is also cliche.
doglover100 29
That is a good anniversary.
KiddNYC1O 22
This is why I'm not getting married or counting on sex when my partner and I are old as ****.
2ruLife 5
That sounds like something my Ex wife would say. No mystery why she is my Ex. I can truly imagine how you felt.
drller331 4
Time for a new wife I suppose. P*ssy grows on trees my friend
TheCuza 1
The wife doesn't want sex. Can't get more cliché than that.
gigi1981 13
That made me lol:)
watsonpsykosis 10
Don't ever buy her flowers or a card and when she complains about it or asks why you have never done it say, "It's too cliche."
accursedvenom 1
Lilaxx, yes she does. OP took the time to make the evening perfect. OP, should have supermanned her.