Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, on my 11-year anniversary with my wife, I bought her a nice necklace and we went to an Indian restaurant where we had the most sensational banquet meal. When we got home, I suggested we made love, to which she replied, "I don't like you enough to do that." FML
Today, I thought I would be cute for my one year anniversary with my girlfriend, so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML
Today, I realized our life has been lacking in romance lately, so I got a card, a bunch of flowers, and made reservations at a lovely restaurant for a nice evening. When I got home and gave my wife the flowers, all she did was sigh and ask what I "fucked up this time." She also refused to go to dinner. FML
Today, it's my 2-year wedding anniversary. It also marks 2 years since my wife told me, "We're married now we don't need to have sex anymore." FML
Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML
Today, I sent the kids to my parents' house, tidied the house, and made reservations for a fancy restaurant, hoping to surprise my wife. When she got home and I handed her flowers, she sighed and said, "Can you stop with the stupid romance shit? It's embarrassing. We're six years married, not two moonstruck kids." FML
Today, it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML
Today, for our third anniversary, I gave my fiancée a necklace she always wanted. She gave me herpes. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML
Today, it was my first anniversary with my husband. Not only were we mad at each other and not speaking the whole day, he doesn't even remember and spent the night out with his friends instead. FML
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Top comments
bevsta 7
What a bitch
zebraumicornz 6
Well next time you should tell her after she spends hours making dinner "eating dinner is too clichè"
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Comments (65)
SoccerDrew 4
If she finds sex too cliché.... You're doing it wrong.
diva239 8
What is wrong with her!! Sex would of been the perfect finish. That sucks. She ruined a perfect evening.
Myo_fml 20
Maybe it wasn't the sex in general that was cliche, maybe it was just sex with you in general.
mattorama 15
If you think that taking her out obligates her to have sex with you, then YES, she's absolutely correct.
noisebox 1
It think there's another guy whose doing her for her to say that.... : (
TergesteCity 12
kind sir, my girlfriend turned down sex at our 5th anniversary, at a five stars hotel in the best suite in a '700 villa in the middle of a big italian city, with spa and breakfast in the room, dinner in a restaurant and romantic walk in the city after it, all payed by me as a gift for her
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Well, next time, go to a prostitute, at least you would have spend money for a good reason, right? Who cares about making your girlfriend happy, if the b**** can't even be grateful and meekly and joyfully accept your advances?
TergesteCity 12
(my point is, it was fine anyway, cause you don't do that only for sex, or at least i hope, you do it cause you love her and want to take care of her; would be worse if she "always" refuse OP for sex, in that case OP should talk to her directly, or ask for help if they can't find a solution)
johnny_derp 3
aww, poor baby. really dude? something tells me the problem is that you think paying for things makes you entitled to sex. if somebody doesn't want to have sex, they don't want to have sex. your girlfriend isn't your personal prostitute.
charvisioku 22
95: He just specifically said his point is that you don't just do these things for sex. Read the whole thread before you jump in and start bitching.
mommy_me 4
rape
ultra_notorious 26
already time for divorce!!!
jnazzty 4
Is your wife a film critic?
joethebiden 8
You should have suggested anal. It's never cliché.