Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, on my 11-year anniversary with my wife, I bought her a nice necklace and we went to an Indian restaurant where we had the most sensational banquet meal. When we got home, I suggested we made love, to which she replied, "I don't like you enough to do that." FML
Today, I thought I would be cute for my one year anniversary with my girlfriend, so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML
Today, I realized our life has been lacking in romance lately, so I got a card, a bunch of flowers, and made reservations at a lovely restaurant for a nice evening. When I got home and gave my wife the flowers, all she did was sigh and ask what I "fucked up this time." She also refused to go to dinner. FML
Today, it's my 2-year wedding anniversary. It also marks 2 years since my wife told me, "We're married now we don't need to have sex anymore." FML
Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML
Today, I sent the kids to my parents' house, tidied the house, and made reservations for a fancy restaurant, hoping to surprise my wife. When she got home and I handed her flowers, she sighed and said, "Can you stop with the stupid romance shit? It's embarrassing. We're six years married, not two moonstruck kids." FML
Today, it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML
Today, for our third anniversary, I gave my fiancée a necklace she always wanted. She gave me herpes. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML
Today, it was my first anniversary with my husband. Not only were we mad at each other and not speaking the whole day, he doesn't even remember and spent the night out with his friends instead. FML
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Top comments
bevsta 7
What a bitch
zebraumicornz 6
Well next time you should tell her after she spends hours making dinner "eating dinner is too clichè"
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Comments (65)
Sigil 11
That sucks OP, but wow that is a very original response. By the way, she is cheating on you.
FaygoAndMiracles 18
You sure? It is a possibility, but she could have just been tired or something.
thecrapblog 8
Now she's probably getting it from someone else, and that's just what a bitch decides to do, no matter how long they have been together with someone else, so she's just a bitch, I have a similar story of someone, but I am not going to go into that...
perdix 31
She's cheating on you with "War and Peace." Sorry, bro.
perdix 31
You could sing "I'm on a Boat," but not "I Just Had Sex." Maybe you should have given her your "Dick in a Box" and you'd have had sex "Like a Boss" or end up with "**** in Your Pants." No matter what, it looks like you ended up on Lonely Island.
Enslaved 38
Let's not leave out him being a "Creep" and becoming a "Mother Lover". (:
Trisha_aus 15
What about the Golden Rule?
FaygoAndMiracles 18
This is a worse excuse than wanting to play Assasin's Creed!
FaygoAndMiracles 18
*Assassin's
little_one 20
Is divorce cliché too?
alexander26_fml 1
So go out get laid and when she has tears in her eyes asking why you would cheat on her, say because you think the idea of marriage is to cliche :) harsh but you would be a hero to all the guys who let there wives pull them around by there Johnson's all day.
FaygoAndMiracles 18
Right, cheating on your wife is a totally appropriate response to what she said. Definitely, her saying it's cliché is exactly as terrible as cheating on your wife, if not worse. *Sarcasm*
alexander26_fml 1
It's not her saying no that is the problem it's the attitude behind it. He obviously was trying one hell of alot more than most guys maybe she should appreciate that, if she can't he should move on he only has one life don't waste it.
ultra_notorious 26
me likes!!!
johnny_derp 3
oh look, another misogynist douchebag.
challan 19
I would ask for my present. Year one is paper... but I'm pretty sure year three is massage with a happy ending. Tell her she can do it herself, or give you a gift certificate to the Asian Parlor.
Dead_Fox 17
Sounds like she's trying to be 'in' by being 'out', that or she just doesn't like sex... with you... anymore. Either way, it's kinda juvenile.
charvisioku 22
Sounds like she doesn't realise how lucky she is to have such a romantic husband.