Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, on my 11-year anniversary with my wife, I bought her a nice necklace and we went to an Indian restaurant where we had the most sensational banquet meal. When we got home, I suggested we made love, to which she replied, "I don't like you enough to do that." FML
Today, I thought I would be cute for my one year anniversary with my girlfriend, so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML
Today, I realized our life has been lacking in romance lately, so I got a card, a bunch of flowers, and made reservations at a lovely restaurant for a nice evening. When I got home and gave my wife the flowers, all she did was sigh and ask what I "fucked up this time." She also refused to go to dinner. FML
Today, it's my 2-year wedding anniversary. It also marks 2 years since my wife told me, "We're married now we don't need to have sex anymore." FML
Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML
Today, I sent the kids to my parents' house, tidied the house, and made reservations for a fancy restaurant, hoping to surprise my wife. When she got home and I handed her flowers, she sighed and said, "Can you stop with the stupid romance shit? It's embarrassing. We're six years married, not two moonstruck kids." FML
Today, it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML
Today, for our third anniversary, I gave my fiancée a necklace she always wanted. She gave me herpes. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML
Today, it was my first anniversary with my husband. Not only were we mad at each other and not speaking the whole day, he doesn't even remember and spent the night out with his friends instead. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
bevsta 7
What a bitch
zebraumicornz 6
Well next time you should tell her after she spends hours making dinner "eating dinner is too clichè"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (65)
Svengalien 3
I agree that sex isn't a commodity that can be bought, but props to you for making the effort to show her a good time. Seems to me a bit selfish not to reciprocate when many guys don't bother at all.
ma77 9
So's a candlelit dinner but she still went there!
Fishtickles 10
Hn
Bigmoneyshotz 0
I would've waited for her to fall asleep jerked off on her face and glued her eyes shut and when she awoke I would've asked if that was to Cliché for her!
KaskStunter 4
I guess next year it's just sex then.
SarahBabieex3 4
That's effed up!
Derpylicious 3
Are you sure you want this woman as your wife?
johnny_derp 3
what a moronic comment. you must have such a lonely and meaningless life.
zomgwtfbbq 3
Lawyer. Now.
cooldaddio 14
And candlelit dinners are the most original idea ever?
ryan1268 18
Bitch