Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, on my 11-year anniversary with my wife, I bought her a nice necklace and we went to an Indian restaurant where we had the most sensational banquet meal. When we got home, I suggested we made love, to which she replied, "I don't like you enough to do that." FML
Today, I thought I would be cute for my one year anniversary with my girlfriend, so I cooked a three course meal for her with candles and rose petals on the floor. She loved the dinner, except now she's passed out in a food coma upstairs while I'm left with the dishes. FML
Today, I realized our life has been lacking in romance lately, so I got a card, a bunch of flowers, and made reservations at a lovely restaurant for a nice evening. When I got home and gave my wife the flowers, all she did was sigh and ask what I "fucked up this time." She also refused to go to dinner. FML
Today, it's my 2-year wedding anniversary. It also marks 2 years since my wife told me, "We're married now we don't need to have sex anymore." FML
Today, it's my fifth wedding anniversary. My wife bailed on the romantic dinner that I arranged in favor of running off with her friends. Their big event: an amateur Fight Club event they'd decided to stage in an abandoned parking lot. FML
Today, I sent the kids to my parents' house, tidied the house, and made reservations for a fancy restaurant, hoping to surprise my wife. When she got home and I handed her flowers, she sighed and said, "Can you stop with the stupid romance shit? It's embarrassing. We're six years married, not two moonstruck kids." FML
Today, it's my two year anniversary with my wife. She's celebrating the day with her new boyfriend. FML
Today, for our third anniversary, I gave my fiancée a necklace she always wanted. She gave me herpes. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML
Today, it was my first anniversary with my husband. Not only were we mad at each other and not speaking the whole day, he doesn't even remember and spent the night out with his friends instead. FML
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Top comments
bevsta 7
What a bitch
zebraumicornz 6
Well next time you should tell her after she spends hours making dinner "eating dinner is too clichè"
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Comments (65)
RvidxrKlvn 8
Next time, she'll tell you it wasn't romantic enough.
saIty 17
Having sex during a candlelit dinner during a midnight boat ride. Then having the boat burn down because you guys tipped the candle over. Then you guys die because you don't know how to swim. IS THAT TOO CLICHE FOR HER?!?
JoeGrant 12
That is the perfect caption of a meme for your picture!
Metallica36176 16
Yes, I read that in....Timmys Dads voice as well. I dont understand...wtf is wrong with people...and their sex lives.
RedPillSucks 33
She didn't want hot wax on her ass.
ambowew 7
Aw, and then you get to walk in on her finger banging herself. Double whammy for you. All that money spent and nothing in return!
Angelastic_fml 18
Nothing in return? He got a candlelit dinner and a boat ride, same as she did. For all we know they both paid for that.
CptHeinz 13
Nope
TweetAnne 13
Is she missing some brain cells? That sounds like an anniversary from a movie, who wouldn't want to have sex after that? Kudos to you for trying and if she keeps it up I'd consider a divorce. There is a woman out there that would like what you did, and truly value you.
felipe87 2
It sounds like the chances of future anniversaries are dwindling down.
johnny_derp 3
oh boo hoo. she isn't some horrible bitch for not wanting to have sex. lol @ you acting like sex is a mandatory response to anything nice or romantic.
Looee 20
I think a divorce might be a bit too harsh
nissan31 2
Would be 3rd and if I where u
BlowinChronic 18
What?
thecrapblog 8
What do you mean? There is editing for stuff like this...
thecrapblog 8
What do you mean? If you made a mistake you can always fix it with editing...
thefella 10
32/34 - this would have been a great time to take your own advice.
RedPillSucks 33
Doc, where's your idiot to english translator? Mine seems to be broken from overuse.
Enslaved 38
God forbid you should want to have sex with your wife on the day you celebrate your love for her. She's setting herself up for you to not want to do anything romantic for her in the future.
xmaximusx 12
If shes not getting it from you shes getting it from somewhere else
catanita 18
You shoud have skipped the candlelit dinner and the boat ride. Just sex with the comment " The rest is too cliche".
Alliente 9
Well so is buying her a Christmas gift, but I'm sure she still expects one. But expect the unexpected... (;
Alliente 9
Wow, I just read over that and realized that is the stupidest thing I've ever written. Please thumb me down.
Schizomaniac 24
Looks like ol girl there saw your comment, eh chap?
traveler_ghost 12
tell her its too cliché to celebrate your next anniversary
xmaximusx 12
There will not be another one lol!!