Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, it’s my birthday. My boss treated me to a day off work, except my mother called at 12:01am drunk as hell screaming, “Happy birthday” down the phone. When I finally fell back asleep, I awoke to my boss asking me to come in after all. FML
Today, after being moved to three different employer-provided apartments because they all had mold and electrical problems, I requested a bigger bed. The bed they delivered had bedbugs. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I spent the day doing nothing but chores, amongst which baking my own birthday cake. I was then so exhausted that I couldn't even stand my own company, so I ate the cake alone on the couch, watching TV. It didn’t taste great. FML
Today, it's my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML
Today, I woke up to an unexpected surprise for my birthday. It wasn't cake, nor ice cream. It was hundreds of baby spiders crawling all over me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, it was my birthday. I spent a pleasant day with one of my best friends, then I spent four hours in the emergency room because my husband broke his foot while working. We're both self-employed, so production is going to fall 6 weeks behind. FML
Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML
Today, I worked a short shift at work, getting sent home early because it was slow. In the time I was gone, my family decided surprise me by rearranging my room and put in my new desk. They also surprised me when I learned that they'd spilled a slushie on my very expensive computer. FML
Today, it was my birthday. Normally, the little office I work in throws a big party for every employee on their special day, but nothing was done for me, not even a "Happy Birthday" came my way. I didn't want to be rude, so I stayed silent. They didn't do anything because I was getting laid off. FML
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Top comments
ChopSuey444 20
Happy birthday, anyway, OP!
MrConcise 34
Can I just spill your glass of water so it's empty instead of half full?
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Comments (61)
91hayek 31
Happy Birthday anyway.
kutchbabe 13
Sorry about that, happy birthday. Big hugs from me!
gosh_mate 30
Happy birthday for what it's worth!!
Wakachulak 22
Sleep on the floor man!
SnowxSakura 17
That won't help much, once you get bed bugs, they'll end up infesting your entire home. Not to mention they're extremely difficult to get rid of. OP needs to call pest control, as there's a good chance their home will need to be tented.
Wakachulak 22
No, they will not. Bed bugs need a certain temperature to survive. Lower it, and they die. That's why you don't find them above a certain altitude.
boxergirl1054 16
Happy Birthday!
whitnayfortooh 29
bed bugs are the worst.
trellz17 19
Happy Birthday buddy
rt_lilmstar 21
Sorry to hear that, OP. To fix one problem: Next time you're out of the house for an extended period of time, turn the heat up to 125°+ and it'll kill the bed bugs. It will be hot when you get back, but it's worth it. :)
PhinIt2WinIt 24
happy birthday at least. there should be some good side to your day OP
lvg_fml 10
Mattress covers will keep them from getting out But wash everything in hot water and make sure they didn't spread to a chair or sofa. Diatomaceous earth works well to get rid of bugs