Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, it’s my birthday. My boss treated me to a day off work, except my mother called at 12:01am drunk as hell screaming, “Happy birthday” down the phone. When I finally fell back asleep, I awoke to my boss asking me to come in after all. FML
Today, after being moved to three different employer-provided apartments because they all had mold and electrical problems, I requested a bigger bed. The bed they delivered had bedbugs. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I spent the day doing nothing but chores, amongst which baking my own birthday cake. I was then so exhausted that I couldn't even stand my own company, so I ate the cake alone on the couch, watching TV. It didn’t taste great. FML
Today, it's my birthday. So far I have received: the news that my parents are divorcing, a dead bird and a pile of shit left on my bed (courtesy of the cat), a rash all over my face, and some slippers from my boyfriend. FML
Today, I woke up to an unexpected surprise for my birthday. It wasn't cake, nor ice cream. It was hundreds of baby spiders crawling all over me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I lit my birthday candles on the cake I made myself and blew them out alone, while my worthless husband sat on the couch stuffing Doritos in his face. My present? He sprayed Lysol in the bathroom after he took a dump. FML
Today, it was my birthday. I spent a pleasant day with one of my best friends, then I spent four hours in the emergency room because my husband broke his foot while working. We're both self-employed, so production is going to fall 6 weeks behind. FML
Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML
Today, I worked a short shift at work, getting sent home early because it was slow. In the time I was gone, my family decided surprise me by rearranging my room and put in my new desk. They also surprised me when I learned that they'd spilled a slushie on my very expensive computer. FML
Today, it was my birthday. Normally, the little office I work in throws a big party for every employee on their special day, but nothing was done for me, not even a "Happy Birthday" came my way. I didn't want to be rude, so I stayed silent. They didn't do anything because I was getting laid off. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ChopSuey444 20
Happy birthday, anyway, OP!
MrConcise 34
Can I just spill your glass of water so it's empty instead of half full?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (61)
domolovesyoshi 33
Usually if the bed is infested so is the rest of the house, including the floor
Fmlreadermostly 20
Get diatomaceous earth. A mask and gloves to use it. It will help immensely
momo081 1
Happy birthday though things will get better
iPixelCheese 19
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
okaydisarray 17
Or it will be soon if he keeps sleeping someplace other than the bed. They will follow you OP....
diensthunds 8
Suck it up. Military members spend their birthdays in combat zones every day of the year.
limabeans101029 20
While that's a very horrible fact, that doesn't make OP's situation any better.
rohan111993 13
How can anyone say op deserves this without knowing they are a major dicksnatch on purpose?
supertacowaffle 41
Happy birthday OP, we have the same one :)
raysmith121 10
Welcome to adulthood
janfleury 19
Happy Birthday. I hope the coming year is much better.