By Anonymous - 13/02/2014 15:20 - United States - Reno

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML
I agree, your life sucks 52 249
You deserved it 18 980

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I think that makes her alpha now.

You've got to be kitten me.


I think that makes her alpha now.

All cat owners should always just assume that their cats ass in their face, because it always is lol. FYL still, that stinks.

She was always the alpha.

ahh, the ole' kitten salad toss alpha initiation ritual

Sodapop40 21

Why bother commenting then? @66

#66 then why did you fucking comment

I think OP feels a little butt-hurt

Hmmm. I don't even know what to say.

Then why comment?

Here's an idea! How about say nothing at all.

Nastorrian 11

Why comment then?

Yup #20. That's when you say it best

Why are you people so rude for no reason...?

Why are you people so moronic for no reason?

And how did she take that?

She was butthurt.

In the ass.

Tasted like ass

Nastorrian 11


#4, what kind of cruel person eats donkeys?

poor kitty

The look on the cat's as well as OP's face right after this happened is giving me the major giggles right now.

43 - You were there???? Why didn't you stop OP before it happened? That seems mean.

That.... I have no clue what to say.

Nastorrian 11

Why even leave a comment if you don't know what to say?

Kissy kissy!!

sweggy 5


Oh for the love of god. I don't even know why people insist on making this "pun" for every cat FML.

You've got to be kitten me.

Typo: You've *cat to

Nastorrian 11

You went there.. You did it... Was wondering when someone would..

That's dis-gas-ting!

aaaaaaand I suck at this.

You should go to the doctor, cats have a bacteria on them that makes people go crazy, it's toxo-something.


ThomasBombadil 31

Who needs toxoplasmosis to go crazy? Just read this FML.

Nastorrian 11

Yea, I hate when I get that TOXO-SOMETHING. Drives me crazy.

It's Toxoplasmosis, It doesn't make you go crazy. Just makes you more social and fearless so you are more likely to infect others. Also makes you exhausted as hell. I know because i had it and Glandular Fever (The kissing disease) during my HSC year. I never owned a cat, there are other ways, you can get it from poorly prepared food, and making out with strangers who have it.

It is a parasite, Sometimes won't show up on the first blood test, and it never leaves your system completely was what they told me. Also gives you a 70% chance of having male offspring.

The fact that theyre male makes it a birth defect! *ba dum tsss* note: i have nothing against males. it was a joke.

Nastorrian 11

@56: that whole male offspring thing true? I have five daughters and that almost seems worth getting just for that perk. Knowing my luck it be another girl tho. But not worth it If the birth defects rumor is true. Not like we're going to have any more children tho. But still.

asnakelovinbabe 16

Did you just lightly consider infecting yourself with a parasite? Wtf is wrong with you.

stirbnichtvormir 14

I think you mean toxoplasmosis. Cats, pigeons, and rats have it. But cats get it by either eating infected meat or crap. So unless the cat ate rat meat, she should be ok.

ThatFancyPenn 18

95 - I'm pretty sure we got it covered.