Today, I wore a pair of glasses with no lenses because I thought I'd look smarter. I ended up poking myself in the eye several times, leaving it swollen. So much for making me look smarter. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I got into the shower with my glasses on by mistake. I spent 5 minutes convinced that the fog in my vision was me going blind. FML
Today, I woke up thinking after wearing glasses and contacts all my life that I had miraculously been corrected to 20/20. Turns out I had just fallen asleep with my contacts in. FML
Today, I inadvertently gave passers by the middle finger as I tried to stop my glasses from sliding off my face. FML
Today, I went to the eye doctor. For the past three days every time I wear my glasses I become nauseous, get migraines, and have that "fish-eye view" where everything is rounded. Turns out they placed my lenses on the wrong sides. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML
Today, I spent almost 10 minutes cleaning my glasses because everything looked blurry. The problem wasn't my glasses. I was actually wearing my sister's, who apparently got almost the same frames as mine. FML
Today, I went to get a facial. I forgot my contact case so I put them into paper cup. My beautician thought it was leftover water from someone else, and threw my only pair of vision aid away. I scuttled home half blind. FML
Today, my dad asked to borrow my glasses to look for his glasses. He then took them off because they were extremely tight on his head, and gave them back to me. Then he turned around and walked into a wall. I sure hope my eyes don't get that bad, although they probably will by the time I'm 40. FML
Today, I got myself a cool pair of colored contacts. I was wearing them while at home, so that I'll get used to them. Then I had to go to a job interview. I forgot to take them out. I went to a job interview with zebra-print eyes. FML
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Top comments
pnckswthsrp 0
How do wearing lens-less glasses make you look in any way smarter? :P
JP101 0
The key to looking smarter is to be smarter. instead of wearing fake glasses, try actually studying and reading. Then you'll look smarter. Wearing fake glasses with the lenses out will just make you look too poor to get real glasses. Moron.
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Comments (166)
Kukua 5
I'm not sure if I get this fml. So you normally don't need glasses, and you can get by perfectly fine without poking yourself in the eye, right? So now you put on a pair of lens-less frames, and.....what - the only reason you now have a black eye is because you don't have any glass protecting your eyes from the fingers you continuously hurl at your face? Am I missing something here?
crackberrie 0
this is exactly what i was thinking!!!! how the hell do u manage to NOT poke urself in the eye when not wearing glasses... but the minute u put on lense-less glasses u poke urself enough to make ur eye swell up??
polico_wolf 0
I bet people poked her eyes to teach her a lesson for obviously wearing fake glasses
grrrarrrg2 2
youre one load that should have been swallowed.
TheWaaaaambulanc 0
I love doctor haiku. Tellin' it like it is, and nobody can disagree with a haiku.
somepartsareme 0
Takes one to know one is a burn now? Wow. I guess I just can't keep up with all those hip young 12 year old 13 year olds these days.
simawesome_FYL 0
its comforting to know that people like you usually kill themselves before being able to get kids ...
frivolous 0
Not only is wearing fake glasses stupid, but what the hell were you doing poking at your eyes? Do you see people on the streets jabbing their lenses with their fingers? Or could you not put glasses on properly?
danceoo 0
you'r such an idiot
fetusjuice 0
You're a ******* idiot.
xXxkatrinaxXx 0
lmfaoo
ColdGold 6
Imagine that! It didn't work!