Money: Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving... - FML

By Noname - 19/01/2009 10:26 - Canada

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 194

You deserved it 10 022

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Same thing different taste

By steveinnewsoh - 18/01/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I went to get a scratch off lottery ticket, and the dude in front of me got the same one I was going to get. He won 500 dollars. I got 2 bucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 995

You deserved it 2 957

By Anonymous - 11/10/2010 09:07 - Canada

Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 383

You deserved it 6 084

By Anonymous - 08/02/2013 00:28 - Canada - Hagersville

Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 421

You deserved it 55 982

By AJShow80 - 13/04/2009 08:51 - United States

Today, I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money, saying it was collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then used his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and won 500 dollars. The jackass wouldn't split it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 251

You deserved it 18 233

By Anonymous - 11/04/2009 16:13 - United States

Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 459

You deserved it 9 165

By BigMoney - 07/09/2011 17:25 - United States

Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 459

You deserved it 13 580

By anonymous - 17/05/2011 17:34 - United States

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 808

You deserved it 28 400

By Dora - 12/10/2009 13:21 - Canada

Today, I won 10,555 dollars on scratch cards! My sister got me to do a happy dance and filmed it. The video is on facebook and the tickets were fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 264

You deserved it 7 987

By SwingingChili - 27/10/2015 05:49

Today, to prove a point to my brother that playing the lotto isn't a sure thing. I got a $10 scratcher. Thinking I'd get nothing or maybe just another scratcher, I ended up winning a free scratcher plus $100. The second scratcher I got an additional $50. Now he's even more confident to win every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 652

You deserved it 4 651

Sorry Sharon

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 236

Next

Top comments

mellowyellowww 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 20:31

i hope you gave him the money to buy himself some hands. but i bet you didn't. selfish.

cbahh 0

Friday 20 February 2009 4:36

This made me laugh for 3 whole minutes.

Comments

twignig 0

Monday 16 February 2009 4:21

**** your life? you're $5000 richer asshole.

ILoveMyXbox 0

Friday 19 November 2010 12:12

ye

ohjesusreally 0

Thursday 19 February 2009 10:57

bahahaha. favorite.

cbahh 0

Friday 20 February 2009 4:36

This made me laugh for 3 whole minutes.

chuckles 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 5:22

LMFAO i hate that i'm laughing at this but how RANDOM!?!? just try to imagine that!

mizled 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 9:39

xD Five grand richer ad slightly embarrassed. wow, I FEEL you PAIN

egaonogenki 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 11:09

Dude, how do handless men wipe after being in the restroom?!?!? Anyway, see Ryan high-five the blind guy here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4AHHVT58NE

kindofgocrazy 0

Monday 17 August 2009 9:41

Umm, rip the toilet paper with your feet/mouth (ew), and put it on the edge of the toilet, and rub your butt on it, then push it into the toilet with your shoe. Or prosthetics could probably work.

Enoch134 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 18:37

lol he uses a hook hahaha

aaryn_indigo 0

Tuesday 3 March 2009 16:05

okay, this is actually freaking hilarious. i laughed out loud.

Superman8_fml 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 4:47

this is TOOOOtally made up. for sure

tbeaun 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 19:11

**** YOU. I'LL BET YOUR MOTHER HATES YOU.

pewp 5

Tuesday 10 March 2009 21:23

i declare shenanigans

Keywords

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Today, my kids' mother, who has been absent and living in a different state for over 12 years, sent a children services worker to my house with a long list of allegations, even though she's 25k behind in support, rather than try to build a normal relationship with her kids in any kind of healthy way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 72

Hi gang! My name is Julien and I’m very happy to be with you for this week’s brand new illustrated FML. I’m so happy, I feel like rolling about like a turtle. This week, we’re trying something different. As you may know, FML was originally ...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

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Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 475

You deserved it 3 481

Today, I blew Christmas out of my nose. Out of one nostril came thick green mucus, and out of the other, thick red blood. Let the holiday season begin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 147

Today, I woke up in the hospital with a mild concussion, a sprained neck, and a broken shoulder. How did this happen? Earlier, I ran into the guy I used to bully all throughout school. Once his wife realized who I was, she piledrived me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 3 162

Today, when I went to my gp for an annual check up, I was complaining to the nurse about my chronically sore ankle. Turns out it has been fractured for 8 years. When I was 11 I was playing in my grans garden and went over on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 665

You deserved it 301

Today, my brother put a sign on my car saying, "No baby on board, feel free to drive into me." Somebody did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 094

You deserved it 229

Today, I took my girlfriend to eat out at a restaurant. We chatted for an hour, and it all seemed to be going well, until she told me that she wanted to break up. Waiting for the bill and driving her home was the most painful time of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 768

You deserved it 3 628