Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, I went to get a scratch off lottery ticket, and the dude in front of me got the same one I was going to get. He won 500 dollars. I got 2 bucks. FML
Poker face at all times
Today, I got a scratcher lottery ticket, scratched it in the store, and won $5,000! I screamed and danced around. The guy next to me shoved me over, yanked the ticket from my hands, and tore ass out the door. The cops couldn't find him. FML
Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML
Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML
Today, I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money, saying it was collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then used his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and won 500 dollars. The jackass wouldn't split it. FML
Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML
Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML
Idiot tax
Today, my boyfriend came home, complaining about not having enough money for bills. He then pulled a stack of lottery tickets out of his bag, saying, "I hope one of these wins." FML
Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML
Today, I won 10,555 dollars on scratch cards! My sister got me to do a happy dance and filmed it. The video is on facebook and the tickets were fake. FML
Top comments
mellowyellowww 0
i hope you gave him the money to buy himself some hands. but i bet you didn't. selfish.
cbahh 0
This made me laugh for 3 whole minutes.
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Comments (74)
ZDrache 0
Your life's not ******, you won $5000. And as for trying to hi-five someone without hands, don't you people have a sense of humour?
dani_fizzle 0
oh no! you got 5000 bucks and accidently tried to hi-five a handles guy?! I guess your life just sucks, don't it? wow.
lexxi_fml 0
mellowyellowww he's not selfish for not giving the money to a COMPLETE STRANGER. and seriously, this ISN'T fml. this is just stupid. oh nooooo. you accidentally embarrassed yourself in front of someone who probably would understand if you explained it. forget the 5,000... this huge embarrassment is definitely not worth that money. If you want people to be sympathetic, then find something worthy of this website.
qkzp 0
haha this is really not an fml but i think it's so funny. love awkward.
nazooer 11
Awkward..
NekuSakuraba 0
Congrats on the 5k, dood!
24788 7
Congratz on 5k! maybe you can do something nice for him. :P
AmberE 0
omg yah right. so what if you were momentarily embarrassed! you still wont 5 ******* grand you lucky bastard! lol =)
wax_soup 0
Well this site doesnt have to be all haters we can use some humors :D
awethe01 0
lmao, who do you feel more sorry for? You for feeling like a douche of the guy with no hands. :( I hope he has a wife ;)