Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, I went to get a scratch off lottery ticket, and the dude in front of me got the same one I was going to get. He won 500 dollars. I got 2 bucks. FML
Poker face at all times
Today, I got a scratcher lottery ticket, scratched it in the store, and won $5,000! I screamed and danced around. The guy next to me shoved me over, yanked the ticket from my hands, and tore ass out the door. The cops couldn't find him. FML
Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML
Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML
Today, I won 20 dollars on a lotto scratch off. My friend, pissed, makes me split the money, saying it was collateral for the gas money used to get us there. He then used his 10 dollars on a scratch off, and won 500 dollars. The jackass wouldn't split it. FML
Today, my Dad called me to tell me that he had finally won the lottery and that I no longer had to worry about trying to find a way to pay for school. I was so excited I started crying. He then told me that he won $5 on a scratch off lotto ticket. He bought a sandwich. Funny dad. FML
Today, behind a cabinet, I found a scratch-off lottery ticket I hadn't scratched yet. After scratching it off, I realized it's a $2,500 winner. The lottery commission won't accept it because they stopped using that game 2 years ago. FML
Idiot tax
Today, my boyfriend came home, complaining about not having enough money for bills. He then pulled a stack of lottery tickets out of his bag, saying, "I hope one of these wins." FML
Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML
Today, I won 10,555 dollars on scratch cards! My sister got me to do a happy dance and filmed it. The video is on facebook and the tickets were fake. FML
Top comments
mellowyellowww 0
i hope you gave him the money to buy himself some hands. but i bet you didn't. selfish.
cbahh 0
This made me laugh for 3 whole minutes.
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Comments (74)
My2864 1
"today i won 5000 dollars" thats where i thought **** you, you shouldnt be allowed to post
torontobuds 0
agreed
CRlovers123 0
fml? u freakin won 5000 dollars
Glant 0
Did he have the rumblies in his tummy that only hands could satisfy?
ThatOddGirl 0
"CAAAAAAAAAARL that KILLS people!!!" haha llamas with hats xD
Rainbow_dumpster 28
HOW THE HELL IS THIS AN FML?!? YOU WON 5 GRAND AND PROCEEDED TO TELL EVERYONE YOUR LIFE SUCKS??? **** YOU!!!! GO BUY A HOOKER AND TELL EVERYONE HOW YOU BLEW ALL YOUR MONEY ON HER AND GOT AN STD IN RETURN. >:( asshole.
irokyoursox 6
how is this an fml you freakin won $5000
littlebirdy_55 0
so???? you won 5k, man, who the **** cares if the guys next to you hates you!!!!
makavella 0
Omfg L M F A O!!!
X_o_X_ocutie 0
it's like "Yea!! I just one 5000 dollars beat that son!!" *turns to give dude hi five* "nawl"
evi661 0
what's the big deal you got 5000