Work: Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed,...

By pinkblankets - 19/04/2009 01:55 - United States

Today, I woke up with really dry, chapped lips. Still in bed, without my glasses on, I sleepily reached down into my purse for some chapstick and applied it. Upon awakening later I realized I had mistaken a mini Sharpie permanent marker for chapstick. I have a job interview today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 089

You deserved it 29 884

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Chapped out

By Anonymous - 12/12/2009 09:28 - United States

Today, I was having lunch with my mom before an important job interview. She commented than my lips looked dry and crackly and gave me her chapstick with aloe to put on. Apparently I'm allergic to aloe and my lips got so swollen I could hardly talk. It was too late to reschedule the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 087

You deserved it 2 522

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 536

You deserved it 5 374

By The Cat Tickler - 13/09/2018 15:00

Today, I was talking to myself and got distracted when I was going to put chapstick on my lips. I took the cap off my deodorant and put it on my lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 825

You deserved it 1 410

By Anonymous - 19/08/2015 05:49 - United States - San Jose

Today, my mom kissed me goodbye before I went to a big job interview. I got weird looks on the way there, but I figured it was just because I look like a massive douche in formal wear. Turns out my mom had smeared lipstick all over my chin. The person who finally let me know was my interviewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 984

You deserved it 2 747

Real dream

By kaley - 14/12/2019 03:00

Today, I woke up to find that I had given myself a haircut in my sleep. I have a presentation today and a job interview tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 750

You deserved it 358

By leosmom - 25/11/2018 03:00

Today, I used a glue stick instead of my Carmex lip balm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 970

You deserved it 1 267

By bleeding - 06/12/2009 01:24 - United States

Today, while I was waiting for an interview, I picked at a something I felt on my chin thinking that it was just some food. I had a good interview. Then I got into my car and looked in the mirror, and saw that I had blood smeared all over my chin. Turns out I had picked a zit. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 272

You deserved it 6 612

By chapstick - 09/01/2014 03:23 - United States - San Dimas

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 896

You deserved it 13 695

Pranks should be outlawed

By hannah - 30/09/2023 04:00

Today, someone held me down and rubbed ChapStick all over my lips. I have a condition which requires medicinal balm, otherwise my lips crack and bleed, and ChapStick makes it worse. I’m still waiting on the balm to arrive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 98

By 2classicNot2 - 09/04/2011 07:52 - United States

Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 777

You deserved it 34 930

collegegirl8 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 9:36

how does drawing on your lips with a sharpie remotely feel like putting on chapstick?

mylifesucks52 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 9:37

you can use nail polish remover. it wont taste good but its that or sharpie. you can also use rubbing alcohol

Comments

collegegirl8 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 9:36

how does drawing on your lips with a sharpie remotely feel like putting on chapstick?

Nice_but_Unlucky 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 4:14

my chap stick is a squeeze tube, abs it's shaped exactly like a sharpie mini..

kaprookie 3

Sunday 19 September 2010 10:01

yer but wouldn't you smell it aswell plus it doesn't feel like one

B4SK3TB4IL 0

Thursday 23 September 2010 5:54

it's called water. I'm sure u have seen it b4

missbadluk 0

Sunday 11 September 2011 23:49

That's what I was wondering!

domolovesyoshi 33

Friday 2 May 2014 4:45

sharpies are not squeeze tubes I still don't get how it's similar

Vkfan 28

Sunday 12 June 2016 13:20

Pal, sleepy doesn't mean retarded When you're sleepy you can swap two types of cream, not a chopstick and a pencil

mylifesucks52 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 9:37

you can use nail polish remover. it wont taste good but its that or sharpie. you can also use rubbing alcohol

lin_zee 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 9:39

haha what color was it? lol

Daysgoby 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 9:39

Tell her your son did it while you were sleeping.. or better yet, if you don't get the job, punch her in the face!

fightingkittens 39

Thursday 1 September 2011 22:22

There's an even simpler solution: lipstick.

Amkii 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 9:40

#1 - I wondered the same thing. #3 - lol If it's red, the OP is OK. ;)

sadlozer 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 9:40

At least you didn't show up for the interview with dry, chapped lips. I mean that REALLY woulda killed your chances. Plus if its a black marker you can be a goth for a day. Fun times.

Siren_00 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 9:43

A sharpie would feel nothing like chapstick...

Atropos_fml 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 9:45

I'm trying to figure out how you mistook a Sharpie for chapstick. There would be fumes, it's shaped differently, it wouldn't feel the same while applying it. Even if you just woke up, I still think you'd be able to tell the difference.