Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML
Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip of me as an infant attempting to breast feed from my father while he laughed uncontrollably. Now, my son keeps sneaking his baby brother's head under my shirt while I'm asleep. The last time he actually began to suckle. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML
Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML
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Top comments
VVeetard 8
milkshake brings all the boys to the yard...
victoriaax3 0
Atleast it wasn't a hobo .
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Comments (365)
ladyvidel 19
The only thing he did wrong was not ask first.
kici 10
fyi. men secretly love the taste and the whole experience. turns them on. don't be too mad at him. guys are just too ashamed to admit it most of the time.
SpanishFutbol201 0
the ****?!?!? uh red flag?
tomahto 0
wow, you guys are a bunch of prudes.
monnanon 13
OP If he had asked then...maybe. I dont know it still sits in the creepy deparment for me. I would rather he drank it from a cup if he wanted to taste it. Babies are different, they came from your body, drinking from your breast is just an extension of what they have done for nine months in the womb.
SAgirl 21
What a sicko, hope you palmed him in the face
soketgo 0
nothing bad.
LTHoratioCaine 4
a spanking? somethung else he might not have experienced.
drewskeeB 0
that's just hilarious!
Setcher 0
I don't find this all creepy. Yes the OP's boyfriend did something that was totally unexpected and something that obviously wasn't cool with her. He should have definitely should have asked first before just latching on. But there are plenty of couples out there who enjoy this sort of nursing fetish. My fiancée and I are a couple who engage in this, and one of the things she loves most is waking up to me doing it. On another note, OP's boyfriend also needs to realize along with asking first, do not mention your mother in this sort of thing, it really creeps the girl out.