Well according to statistics, kids are dicks.

If you do not raise children right, they are assholes.

They cost around a quarter of a million to raise in the U.S.

Well I'm sure it's not much more pleasant hearing them scream it at someone else..

My sister told me that she told my mother to abort ne

I was a surprise :P

How about a baby book from "The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey"? Because that's what we went with for our surprise baby.

And why would he be "around" when his parents were having sex?

I think the term "overheard" suggests he wasn't around when it was said, or at least as far as his dad knew

For God's sake Steven, use a condom!

Ya, it sounds like he was talking to someone (possibly a teenager or college kid) who wasn't using condoms and was explaining how easily one can get pregnant. It only takes one time without a condom to get pregnant. It may have been a mistake at the time, but I bet it's the best mistake he ever made!