Geek: Today, I woke up to my Playstation 3 and my laptop missing and...

By dwhite032 - 06/06/2011 07:06 - United States

Today, I woke up to my Playstation 3 and my laptop missing and window open. My dad faked a robbery to see me freak out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 479

You deserved it 6 841

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Same thing different taste

By fuckMYlife94321 - 26/04/2009 16:21 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap while my mom was at work. I woke up when she came home and didn't think anything of it so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I went downstairs and our 52" plasma screen TV, my xbox 360, and $1500 computer were all stolen. I'm guessing that wasn't my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 862

You deserved it 13 757

By pillowless - 13/10/2011 14:41 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 958

You deserved it 2 401

By wheatsnake - 08/10/2009 13:31 - Australia

Today, I took my new laptop into my house from my car, thinking it would be a too much of a target for kids grabbing it. I came home tonight to find my door kicked in, my laptop gone and my TV ripped from the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 171

You deserved it 2 813

Thanks for all your help

By jruth7 - 15/05/2011 04:49 - United States

Today, after being in Europe for a month, I got home to find my door wide open and all my stuff gone. I called my dad who was supposed to be watching my house. He told me I should have had someone check on my place while I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 014

You deserved it 3 682

Help yourself

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 21:08 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I woke up, only to find my Xbox missing. Thankfully I have a security camera discreetly wired up in the tree on my lawn. Checking the tapes, I saw my brother park outside my house, let himself in with his spare key, then drive off with my missing equipment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 317

You deserved it 2 977

By BedazzledAlpaca - 08/12/2014 05:03 - United States - Englewood

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 845

You deserved it 4 302

By Anonymous - 18/01/2010 00:40 - United States

Today, I arrived at my apartment to find the door kicked in. Inside, I found my TV, Xbox, stereo, CDs, and laptop had all been stolen. When my roommate got home, I told him about it, to which he replied, "Yeah, I left my keys inside this morning, so I kicked the door in to get them." He left with the door kicked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 438

You deserved it 2 555

By jccwell - 23/09/2011 16:50 - United States

Today, my dad called, saying he was in town and that he wanted to see me. I was excited, thinking he wanted to come see my new apartment. Turns out he just wanted to borrow my Xbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 083

You deserved it 2 374

By Danielle - 06/06/2011 19:00 - United States

Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 787

You deserved it 4 066

Impatience

By Anonymous - 15/05/2020 02:00

Today, my dad asked me to help him buy a laptop by searching online. He explicitly said, "When you have time." I decided to shower as I had just woken up. While showering, I was startled by loud banging and my dad angrily asking why I wasn't looking for his laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 744

You deserved it 136

Big_Red_138 3

Monday 6 June 2011 15:50

Get him back, steal his Viagra. Watch him freak out because of limp dick...just an idea.

lovinit5683 0

Monday 6 June 2011 15:47

Okay that is funny but wrong. You can always get him back though.

Comments

nananabatmannnn 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 8:46

Kick his ass. You don't mess with someone's playstation. That's a motherfucking death wish.

bearkat 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 9:44

I would hit him in the head with the PS3. what a douchebag.

onthetoilet 3

Tuesday 7 June 2011 10:45

get outside and get some fresh air, it will do you good

Reina1123 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 13:31

Why can't my parents ever do something like that? It'd be sooo funny

tinypurplegiant 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 13:42

haaaa favorite fml today :D

sblhaine 0

Tuesday 7 June 2011 22:10

your dad is hilarious!

Vindishu 2

Tuesday 7 June 2011 23:24

Your dad's a dingleberry, lol. And at least you can still play ps3, and haven't been banned or some shit from the 360.. *my sob story here*

bytez0r 3

Wednesday 8 June 2011 0:26

hillarius! epic dad

fmlfmlihatemysel 0

Wednesday 8 June 2011 0:47

whats ur online name?? im aswans1 add me on psn people

fmlfmlihatemysel 0

Saturday 11 June 2011 4:59

why u moderate this

EvanM2894 1

Wednesday 8 June 2011 23:07

If he came in and took your stuff from your house without your permission, it's not a fake robbery, no matter his claim.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 260

You deserved it 14 933

Today, I was working at the pharmacy and had a older man come in. He was buying Viagra and, by law, we are required to ask if the patient had any questions. His lovely response was, "When you coming over so I can test this stuff out?" His wife and daughter thought it was hilarious. I could've died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 845

You deserved it 635

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I had a disagreement over the pronunciation of the word "train." It turned into a heated debate that lasted all night and ended with us sleeping in separate rooms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 827

You deserved it 20 755

Today, I baked a cake. After feeding it to my entire family, I opened the stove, planning to temporarily store the cake inside. I then noticed a mouse, burnt to a crisp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 505

You deserved it 784

Today, I went to hospital with chest pain and they discovered I need a triple bypass for three arteries clogged with fat. The doctor assumed from my scans that I must be middle aged or older because he’d never seen three arteries clogged so badly on someone under 50. I’m 27 FML

I agree, your life sucks 611

You deserved it 299

Today, my girlfriend left me. When she moved out, she even took the light bulbs with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 101

Today, I was walking around my new school trying to figure out where to go. Then I realized I was talking to myself. Out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 549

You deserved it 10 744

Today, I had a first date via video, due to Covid. It was the first time a girl had asked me out, and she seemed very enthusiastic. Until she started to worry me by throwing in the L-word about 10 minutes in, and talking about our wedding. I've never even met this person in real life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 138

Same thing different taste

Thanks for all your help

Help yourself

Impatience

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