Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML
Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML
Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML
Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him, horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML
Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML
Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML
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Top comments
DahkLohd 4
Creepy.
MyNameIsBruce 0
Shut up. You tried to do it to Harry a few years back.
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Comments (242)
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
I'm not sure why you are referring to your mom as your roommate...
oliver86 8
fail at humor
MrNiceGuy518 3
I don't get it.
NancyDeebensDPDS 0
ugh! you guys don't understand sir robin!!! shame on you!
MissFukMyLuck 0
I say epic win. *thumbs up*
NisterDude499 0
YDI for looking easy to kill in your sleep....
OFO_fml 0
that sounds well, creepy.
Lizza330 28
That kind of sounds like the roommate movie.
CutiePie_101 7
That's what I was thinking.
talktomandybaby 8
me too
TheKing82 0
"Based on a true story"
RedJag 0
I say beat her to the punch......and soon.
lil_lala209 5
time to move out now!
Mjcino 0
Hot!
saleha97 4
haha, #15
UpsidedownKayak 9
Go to sleep in medieval armor, you won't be so easy to kill in your sleep then. Of course, you will probably have to sleep standing up or you will have a hard time getting up in time for classes.
kingtz 6
That was hot! I wish I had a female roommate like that when I was in college...
nerdsgetmehot 23
#27 I'm pretty sure OP didn't think it was hot. Assuming that you're a straight male, imagine if you had a guy roommate who did that...
ramirezlmt 0
well #30 that's why I have a sword by my bed, no extra parts allowed lol you just wish a nerd with thick rimmed glasses would wake you up staring at you naked.(read her name) I'll see you tonight babe
nerdsgetmehot 23
#36 I already have a nerd.
ekky 3
yuck hate to be him
nerdsgetmehot 23
What the hell! Who is going around and making sure that I think that I'm ugly? Honestly I DO think that I'm ugly...I never thought that I said I was attractive in any way. Bugger off and go bother someone else.
RedPillSucks 33
nerdsgetmehot, You're not ugly. And to paraphrase an old song. What's your nerd gotta do with me?