Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML
Today, just three days into a much-needed vacation, my 5-year-old daughter has come down with chickenpox. FML
Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML
Today, while eating dinner, my child picked up a piece of their chicken off the floor and put it in their mouth. It wasn’t until during bath time did I realize it wasn't chicken but poop that fell out of their diaper. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML
Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML
Today, I woke up to see my four year-old brother with a sharpie, trying to play “Connect the Dots” with my acne. FML
Today, at Church, the little boy sitting behind me asked his mother if I had the chicken pox, because there were red dots all over my face. I've had bad acne since I was twelve. FML
Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML
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Top comments
Fernmelder 0
that is nasty
crazychika 0
Ewwwww! What a little bugger! Yea... here's one reason why I'm NOT having kids :P
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Comments (237)
imsleepingbeauty 0
OK, that would REALLY piss me off!
HAARP_fml 0
I bet it tasted good! FYL!
allie2590 31
LMAO!
ortiz_34 0
YDI for not vaccinating your child against chicken pox.
sithwithashotgun 0
#44, just because you get vaccinated doesn´t mean you won´t get the disease.
poeticpunk77 0
Chicken pox is such a pointless disease to get vaccinated for unless you're an adult who has never had it. Seriously, its not gonna kill your kid and its one of those parts of growing up everyone goes through. So, no, they don't deserve it.
tonyDlolli 0
i dont get sick cuz my immune system KICKS ASS!!!
thequickredofox 0
Not everyone vaccinates, for many valid reasons. But, for what it's worth, you CAN die from chicken pox - scarring in the lungs can cause respiratory failure. Not to mention scarring on the retinas can leave you blind.
thequickredofox 0
They are valid to the parents who choose not to. I choose to vaccinate but only once I've researched thoroughly, and I wouldn't let me son have the combined MMR shot, he had them separately (less chemicals paradoxically!). CP wasn't a scheduled vaccine when he was tiny, so I paid for it, having had a nasty dose as an adult and ending up in ICU. Still, I respect the right of other parents not to inject their children with mercury and other chemicals.
KingZant 0
I laughed. "**** YEAH" came to mind
_MLSBIDGAF 0
I hoped you whopped his ass. Thats what's wrong with kids this day & age. No discipline. ;x
Kristin_x 0
eww!
skatergirl21 2
hahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahhahhahahahhahahahahaha you should of kicked his ass
themaintroll 0
YDI for not keeping your medicine in the top shelf
srhmldndo 0
How does this make sense?
Illumi113 0
That is REALLY disgusting. Why would he do something like that? That's not a horrified rhetorical question. I actually want to know. What would make him think to do that? I'm interested.
wingedspiritus 0
Because he's a kid? Deedee.
TheKingDon 2
That is seriously ****** up.