Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML
Today, just three days into a much-needed vacation, my 5-year-old daughter has come down with chickenpox. FML
Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML
Today, while eating dinner, my child picked up a piece of their chicken off the floor and put it in their mouth. It wasn’t until during bath time did I realize it wasn't chicken but poop that fell out of their diaper. FML
Today, my 5-year-old son woke up early and ran into my bedroom to wake me up. Unfortunately, he did this by jumping onto my bed, slamming his knee into my balls in the process. I had to explain my tears of agony away by claiming I was just so happy to see him. FML
Today, I have the flu. I woke up to my son leaning over me, inches from my face, breathing in deeply. Apparently, he was trying to get sick so he could stay home from school. He's 15. FML
Today, I woke up to see my four year-old brother with a sharpie, trying to play “Connect the Dots” with my acne. FML
Today, at Church, the little boy sitting behind me asked his mother if I had the chicken pox, because there were red dots all over my face. I've had bad acne since I was twelve. FML
Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML
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Top comments
Fernmelder 0
that is nasty
crazychika 0
Ewwwww! What a little bugger! Yea... here's one reason why I'm NOT having kids :P
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Comments (237)
hotissue 0
holy cow, that made me sick to my stomach. on the plus side your boy's going to have tons of scars
andimlikeyes 0
dude id be ******* pissed the **** right off lol
babaonia 0
talented child ^^
FMLMeetYDI 0
I'd be choking on chunks! At least that is a way to remember him forever. Cheers?
Peg_fml 0
That made me throw up a little bit in my mouth.
drummer_dude 0
Today, I read this FML. I threw up. FML
azure8787 0
oh gawd lol
johndaviddoe 0
OMFG... Beat him... beat him hard... until he bleeds!
Flymeister 3
That is y i m not having kids.
Lucky444 0
While it is gross. It will be one of those memories you will laugh about when your kid has kid's of their own. FYL for not realizing how lucky you are to be making memories like this rather than having memories of your kid dying form cancer or not being able to have kids.
blondebutterfly8 5
Aren't you a big ball of sunshine!