Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
Today, my roommate told me he was bringing home his new girlfriend. When the arrived, he introduced me to… my longtime crush. FML
Today, I woke up to my roommate glaring at me. Apparently, I was sleep-talking again, but last night I apparently shouted, “You’ll never find the bodies!” multiple times. He’s been sleeping with his door locked since. FML
Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML
Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML
Today, I was getting changed in front of my roommate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said, "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML
Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML
Today, I met my new roommate. She has a life-size cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber in her room, which I've seen her having actual conversations with twice already. I have to share a bedroom with this psycho. FML
Today, I got to sleep in the same bed as the love of my life...and her new boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
uridea 14
tell her you love how she stares haha
redbluegreen 41
Lesbians aren't like the Easter bunny; they do exist.
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Comments (143)
saragr94 2
hahah wow that is just amazing
mike3775 39
put a lock on the bedroom door
isayrawrxd 0
wow. that is really creepy.... i would be super freaked if i were you.
rockhound 0
mace her next time. hard to stare when you can't see.
DocBastard 40
You'd hit her in the face with a club with a radially symmetric head? That seems a little extreme to me.
jonziel 0
If I were you I'd be kinda turned on ;)
Wirebiter 0
The least you could do is put a show on for her
iheartglasses 0
I agree with #41. You can even buy a lock set you can simply screw into the wall, at Walmart, if you dont have a lock on your door knob. Or I suggest going to your nearest Lowes or hardware store?
ulicksam 0
3 roommates in a row you can't live with in 2 months. The common denominator is you.
MarryMeFry 10
Exactly what I was thinking!
okieraider71 4
Male / female room mates ASSIGNED by your school? I call bullshit (or I wish I had gone to med school where you live!).
ohrlynow 9
OP is a woman.
theblackhannah 0
my brother used to stare at me sleeping too & I would wake up & find him lookin at me..
RedPillSucks 33
As gorgeous as you are, that would be beyond creepy when a sibling is doing it. Was this an older or younger brother?