Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
Today, my roommate told me he was bringing home his new girlfriend. When the arrived, he introduced me to… my longtime crush. FML
Today, I woke up to my roommate glaring at me. Apparently, I was sleep-talking again, but last night I apparently shouted, “You’ll never find the bodies!” multiple times. He’s been sleeping with his door locked since. FML
Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML
Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML
Today, I was getting changed in front of my roommate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said, "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML
Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML
Today, I met my new roommate. She has a life-size cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber in her room, which I've seen her having actual conversations with twice already. I have to share a bedroom with this psycho. FML
Today, I got to sleep in the same bed as the love of my life...and her new boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
uridea 14
tell her you love how she stares haha
redbluegreen 41
Lesbians aren't like the Easter bunny; they do exist.
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Comments (143)
perdix 31
Don't be so confident about living with her for two years -- she's probably going to murder you in your sleep in the next few weeks. It's just a matter of when the voices tell her it's time. Good night Sleep tight Don't let the bedbugs bite Nor let your roommate slash your throat. (Even though that ruins the rhyme scheme.)
redbluegreen 41
Shame the OP's roommate isn't named Freddy. We could have used that rhyme.
ahxiangs 0
two years ? why not be more intimidated
bekdebekah 0
I agrees with 23
randomviolet 0
I love the way you sleep. haha have fun the next two yearsss
bella_coza 0
she is totally going to single white female you....
liecake 0
Wow. Poor you - you have to share a room with Edward Cullen.
Justincolon22 15
creepy indeed, I hope she's not fat.
sunshinedudette 0
Did this remind anyone else of that one episode of Friends? The one were Chandler is looking for a new roomate and this one creepy dude likes to stare at him while he sleeps... OP, any chance you're a fan of Friends?
megamandude455 10
**** her.
MostHatedMan 2
Get. An. Apartment. Either that or be creepier than her. Tell her she's cute when she talks in her sleep and that you didn't know she felt that way about you. Steal her underwear and keep knives in your room. Wear a tinfoil hat so the aliens can't control your mind. She'll leave...