Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
Today, my roommate told me he was bringing home his new girlfriend. When the arrived, he introduced me to… my longtime crush. FML
Today, I woke up to my roommate glaring at me. Apparently, I was sleep-talking again, but last night I apparently shouted, “You’ll never find the bodies!” multiple times. He’s been sleeping with his door locked since. FML
Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML
Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML
Today, I was getting changed in front of my roommate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said, "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML
Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML
Today, I met my new roommate. She has a life-size cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber in her room, which I've seen her having actual conversations with twice already. I have to share a bedroom with this psycho. FML
Today, I got to sleep in the same bed as the love of my life...and her new boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
uridea 14
tell her you love how she stares haha
redbluegreen 41
Lesbians aren't like the Easter bunny; they do exist.
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Comments (143)
riggens7522 0
why did you already go through 2 other roommates??
eatlesschipmunks 0
Get a life kid
Morpheus414 0
Yep. Get drunk and scissor until you both break your pelvises. trust me, those two years will just FLY by. ;-)
Hopersz 0
She wants you to jump her bones. Lol
Hopersz 0
#27, Im eating my breakfast as I saw your comment and I wanted to puke lol. My stomache just turned. Lol
iHateThisLife 10
stalker!
EllieHeartsYou32 0
maybe she just wanted to freak you out.
iwadasn 33
That's what I thought. This seems like something from one of those "100 Ways to Freak Out Your Roommate" lists.
perdix 31
Everyone loves the idea of a Guardian Angel, but when one actually descends from Heaven, you make her seem like some sort of creepy stalker. STFU and enjoy the divine protection you've been given!
6sick6 4
YDI for looking good while sleeping!
Gloritank 8
I wear my sunglasses at night, so I can, so I can.
tmmundy 17
be a moron? I agree!!!!