Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
Today, my roommate told me he was bringing home his new girlfriend. When the arrived, he introduced me to… my longtime crush. FML
Today, I woke up to my roommate glaring at me. Apparently, I was sleep-talking again, but last night I apparently shouted, “You’ll never find the bodies!” multiple times. He’s been sleeping with his door locked since. FML
Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML
Today, my new roommate, who seemed to get along with me just fine up until now, has requested to switch to a different room. Apparently, I was making racist comments in my sleep. FML
Today, I was getting changed in front of my roommate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said, "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML
Today, my roommate's boyfriend moved in. I'm in love with him. Now I get to live with the happy couple. FML
Today, I met my new roommate. She has a life-size cardboard cutout of Justin Bieber in her room, which I've seen her having actual conversations with twice already. I have to share a bedroom with this psycho. FML
Today, I got to sleep in the same bed as the love of my life...and her new boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
uridea 14
tell her you love how she stares haha
redbluegreen 41
Lesbians aren't like the Easter bunny; they do exist.
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Comments (143)
kill3rs 0
okward
Toiga 0
awkward*.
SecureReflex 0
Go for it OP, scissor her timbers, argh!
sara117 0
yuck :-/
cchevy 0
great call! scissors is my fav lesbian move!
linzb752 0
sounds Luke you're going to have a fun two years, op
DocBastard 40
Iphone autocorrect strikes again!
kaprookie 3
like*
TheDrifter 24
Just doesn't look right when it's not autocorrected to iPhone. The capital P just gives it that air of pretentiousness.
machiko_fml 0
Awh how cute..
blaze_1492 0
You seem cool Is this how you add friends or become friends?
uridea 14
lol you enjoy creepy people staring as you sleep huh?
Leva_fml 0
Yes. your life sucks. indeed. That's just creepy
luvpinks 0
yikes
funzcpl 0
whoa! explain boundaries!
saywhaaat_01 0
ewwww
Zebidee 9
She's not a sparkly vampire by any chance?
dragonaair 5
Win.
12345goochgobble 0
no.... epic win!!!
riseofabreakings 0
dang. I wanted to make that comment
yanna227 0
do something creepy back....stand by the bathroom door and say I love how you poop when she comes out
kiwi00 0
Maybe the creepy roommate would be in to that and then will start pooping with the door open.
Bluedoh 3
brilliant!
elmorous 0
Yah, feed the wolves!