Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years-old. FML
Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
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Top comments
AmeOwl 0
Movie's like twilight have truly corrupted girls' ability to separate fiction from reality. In reality world, even a guy in love is probably not going to sit there staring at his girlfriend while she sleeps. And that's good, because it's kind of creepy.
Kingdutch 3
That's one unexpected answer
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Comments (71)
supernoob 0
Today, I couldn't sleep because my girlfriend keep farting. But, when she is awake, she asks stupid questions. example: "Are you looking at me because you're so much in love with me?" With her awake OR asleep, i still lose. FML.
lostfaithinpppl 19
ROFL!!!!
bored690 0
Oh god. Who asks that?
nzl_fml 0
wow conceited question much? YDI
MissGreenT 0
I cant even imagine the look on your boyfriend's face when you said those obnoxious words...honestly woman! Get something to eliminate the night gas and keep your lips sealed
fancypantsninja 0
And then you reply with " Well maybe you should have slept on the couch since i smell so bad" and then go back to sleep;>
Yaphukwit 0
=/ Girls dont poop, thats an urban legend.
ksmiley 0
Ha! Lay off the burritos : )
Dynoblaze 1
Get a butt plug and jam it up your ass. Problem solved.
KatieGoesRawrr 0
'everytime you hold in a fart you kill bby' - niggahigga
leushqua 2
ewwwww-freeaaaky!! like from paranormal activity! :D