Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML
Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML
Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML
Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML
Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. After being upset for not hearing my car alarm go off I realized it had in the middle of the night. I had woken up and cursed the idiot who set off their alarm and put a pillow over my head, falling back to sleep shortly after. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML
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Top comments
ThatFatGuyBehind 3
How small was it for him to be laughing during a burgalery.
hellogoodbye1996 6
did he tell you to put clothes on?
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Comments (159)
AnimalLover1031 8
So the fact that he was holding a gun to you wasn't a big deal?
berryblue 0
ohh
pinkspaceboundro 0
uh- whoa! to wake up with someone pointing a gun at you, and then to be laughed at? no ma'am, I'd jumped on him like a SPIDER MONKEY!
OfficerCartman 0
Respect my athoritah!
TheJashinist 8
Well, it's better than him shooting you!
humzizzl3 0
69 Lmaoo hahah
shutupYDI 4
67 I like ur comment because u are good looking!!
Neorecon19 18
from the sound of OPs username, I'm guessing they're a male, if so, then the reason for the burglar's laughing is about OP's Mr. Droopy
BigOrca 2
that's the funniest thing. You should of told him you have the biggest small penis ever.
brookie063 5
well isn't that awkward!