Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out... - FML

By poop - 08/03/2009 23:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up at my grandparents house since my mom was out of town, still half asleep i went to brush my teeth. Mid brush my mouth started getting numb I looked again at the tooth paste I used..turns out it was my grandpa's anti-itch anal cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 027

You deserved it 22 131

Miscellaneous

Previous FML Next FML

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Amkii 0

Monday 9 March 2009 2:36

Analicious!

itybitykity 0

Monday 9 March 2009 2:35

Classic jaw-drop moment for me just now. That is terrible.

Comments

HIMnHER 0

Monday 9 March 2009 2:26

oh i bet that tasted bad. i never done that but there were times where i was about to.

michaelscot23 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 2:25

I hope it at least made your breath minty fresh

brightnite 0

Saturday 4 September 2010 7:47

well that takes care or your tooth itch!

Catkam623 27

Sunday 30 December 2012 22:06

And the rest of your mouth

pikachu_01 0

Monday 9 March 2009 2:27

Oooh, ouch. That blows.

daniisme 0

Tuesday 23 March 2010 9:51

that's why you you need to ANALyse things better.

GrammarFailure 0

Thursday 27 May 2010 16:49

Really?

amanda_d95 9

Monday 6 June 2011 23:28

No. Just no.

gregthestrange 3

Monday 9 March 2009 2:31

swift

Ryu148 0

Monday 9 March 2009 2:31

Eeeeewwwwww. Just...ew.

ZleveL 0

Friday 19 February 2010 7:16

ewwwww I threw up in my mouth

itybitykity 0

Monday 9 March 2009 2:35

Classic jaw-drop moment for me just now. That is terrible.

amanda_d95 9

Monday 6 June 2011 23:30

haha me too! i literally had a jaw drop moment

Amkii 0

Monday 9 March 2009 2:36

Analicious!

imhawaiian 0

Monday 9 March 2009 2:44

Nice

Gio_fml 6

Monday 9 March 2009 2:44

Well, at least it wasn't used.

Torialovesya 0

Monday 21 November 2011 20:27

But if it wasn't used then op would of had to open it but probably looked to see if there was another one instead of opening a new one :)

tomorrowbroadway 0

Monday 9 March 2009 2:46

Lesson learned: read the labels of everything, especially things you're putting in your mouth.

wowyougotowned 0

Monday 9 March 2009 2:50

heres a tip: open your eyes when you wake up... idiot

Slender_Man 6

Monday 16 July 2012 9:37

Here's a tip: don't be an asswipe

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9

Keywords

Jealousy Friends Love Social Media AITA Relatable Bodyshaming Miscellaneous Parents Kids Weird Religion Books Suspicious Sex Teenagers YouTube Annoying Pranks Cops Dogs Animals Ironic Argument Health Dad jokes My ex Alcohol Drunk Pregnancy

The Top

Aujourd'hui, mes parents font une sortie resto pour l'occasion de leurs 10 ans de mariage. Ma mère engage un babysitter pour garder mes frères, mais je dois rester à la maison pour travailler sur un projet perso. Vers 19h le babysitter arrive. Surprise. C'était mon ex. VDM

I agree, your life sucks 3 989

You deserved it 558

Aujourd'hui, premier rendez-vous chez une nouvelle gynéco pour renouveler ma contraception. Elle m'a conseillé de laisser faire la nature car d'après elle, la pilule c'est dangereux, le stérilet ça fait mal, et c'est pas bien grave si je tombe enceinte puisque j'ai déjà des enfants. VDM

I agree, your life sucks 8 575

You deserved it 552

The Top

Today, my friend asked me how I did on my test. I got an 85%. She asked me what my secret was, and I said "I'm just smart". She replied, "No you're not. How did you pull it off?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 941

You deserved it 6 629

Today, I sent the girl I like a Twinkie with a note saying "Enjoy! You deserve it". I found out later through an angry email that someone had written "you damn fatty" on the end of the note. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 165

You deserved it 6 902

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it was. He just paused, turned to look me in the eye, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 951

You deserved it 20 502

Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 928

You deserved it 55 970

Today, as I passed by the window that looks out on to my front yard, I saw a man out there so I ran to the kitchen to call the police. The operator asked me to describe the man. It was then that I realized the mysterious man in my yard was the snowman I built yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 784

You deserved it 32 903

Today, I had to bail my husband out of jail. It turns out that in the Black Friday rush, he beat a guy up just so he could get his hands on the last of a heavily-discounted item. The item in question: a toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 013

You deserved it 4 324