Today, I woke up and went into my living room, only to be greeted by my aunt, sister, and mother watching a very graphic video showing women giving birth. They forced me to stay and watch it until the end. It was almost 90 minutes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother posted a video of me giving birth, on Facebook. FML
Today, my brother let us know his wife was in labour. I rang him a few hours later to ask how it was going. I wasn’t expecting him to switch to video chat to show me “The Miracle.” I now know what my sister-in-law's vagina looks like in the middle of birth. FML
Today, I showed my girlfriend some old home videos of me as a kid. My dad must have taped over one though, because halfway through it cut to extremely graphic footage of his colonoscopy. FML
Today, while eating breakfast in a hotel lobby, the woman next to me started playing an obnoxious clip of a baby’s high-pitched crying. The worst part is that my parents refused to let me do anything about it or step away from the loud noise, as they thought it would “embarrass the whole family.” FML
Today, my entire family sat down in the living room to watch the video I recorded of my sister's graduation from college. I never pressed record. FML
Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML
Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
Today, my sister ended punching my mother in the face. Blood just leaked everywhere and everything just went downhill. I'm so scared and traumatized from witnessing it. I can’t get the scene out of my head, can’t fall asleep, can’t stop crying, want to puke, want to yell. I just can’t anymore. FML
Today, I was watching a home video of when my mom was pregnant with me. She had a beer in her hand. FML
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Top comments
anonimeeeee_fml 18
At least they prepared you for when your woman gives birth. That won't seem so bad then.
Bliss391 7
Family movie night gone wrong!
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Comments (52)
laughmaster 9
That sucks, I watched that one of those in sex Ed, we had a choice to watch it or not, but those videos aren't for the weak
andrekrivo 20
here in the Netherlands it's actually very normal to give birth at home with the other children helping or watching... thank goodness my family is from Russia! the only reason even hospitals let women give birth there is if there's a chance of ``compilations`` during birth. I'd suggest you stop bitching about watching a video, at least now you won't faint if you see it in real life, noob.
SuperDanielNL 23
Make up an excuse and leave, it's not that hard to avoid awkward social situations. Or confront them with the fact you found the video disgusting.
perdix 31
And I assume they would object to your jacking off while watching fetish ****? Such cruelty! I'm curious how they "made" you watch it against your will -- "no means no" can work FOR men, instead of just being a ****-block.
ScarlieC 25
Well OP, watching that video can only make you feel lucky that you're a guy and will never go through childbirth (and the recovery).
scottyspot 11
That's when you man up and say "Nope, I'm out of here" and then leave.
michaelm1290 23
In some cultures the fathers eat the placenta afterwards, so be thankful you didn't have to see that.
perdix 31
This is where reverse psychology would have worked the charm. If you made like you were really into watching that, including the ****** faces and noises, they would have kicked you out in three minutes, or when you climaxed . . . *lowers sunglasses* whichever came first.
Welshite 40
You wear those sunglasses so often that you've practically gone vampiric. I shall help you, perdix! *grabs sunglasses and crushes them underfoot*
perdix 31
#33, noooooooo! I love the sunglasses! They help establish the comedic timing in text that is critical to getting a joke to work when told verbally. I guess in this case, I could have used . . . *pregnant pause* YEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!
AshaaFerreira 22
Perdix ill buy you new glasses buddy :)
imAnthonyy 7
family bonding at It's best.
RatchedRN 3
A woman giving birth is graphic? Yet, watching a movie with people torn apart into pieces is ok?!
Dracoboxer357 36
30- And yet some of the same men that happily watched Rambo can't handle the idea that most healthy females after a certain age periodically bleed from their vaginas. :P The fault in your statement was that you are trying to apply reasonable common sense to a related example. ;)
hellonyancat 6
Reality and fiction are different. We can watch graphic movies comfortably because we know its not real. Watching a home video of a woman giving birth is very real.