Today, I woke up again to a warm trickling sensation on my neck. It would seem my rabbit has a thing for doing his business on me to wake me up. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was spending time with my affectionate pet rabbit. He was hanging out with me on my bed as usual. After I finished giving him a long and thorough head rub, he thanked me by emptying his bladder on my leg. What is that, marking me as his property? True affection. FML
Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML
Today, my wackjob roommate decided to sit next to me on the couch, basically make out with her pet rabbit, and baby-talk to it. Key highlights involved giggling while the bunny licked up inside her nose and then commenting on the rabbit's "pronounced nipples". Why? FML
Today, I was awoken by a slug crawling down my back. FML
Today, I woke up feeling crabby because of lack of sleep. I noticed what woke me up, it was man's best friend. He kept moving around and wouldn't stop rotating in circles to get comfy. I told him to lay down and he looked at me, did another circle and lowered down, butthole first on my forehead. FML
Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML
Today, I woke up to my dog jumping on my bed and licking me all over. It would've been fine, if I hadn't woken the first time a few minutes earlier to the sight of him going to town on his balls. FML
Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back. I quickly realized I haven't been touched in so long that I was smiling to flies landing on me in my sleep. FML
Today, my cat head-butted me awake as usual. I reached to pet him, but it wasn't his face I touched. It was the still-twitching corpse of the disemboweled rat he held in his jaws. FML
Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML
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Top comments
toowie_fml 20
Does your rabbit always roam free in your room?
ayyy_bro 26
Shouldn't your rabbit be in a cage at night or something...
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Comments (111)
feven 32
Hm thats not bad. My rabbit likes to try to suffoicate me in my sleep.
theonecasey 27
Shouldn't you have him up at night?
feven 32
Hm not bad. My rabbit likes to try to suffoicate me in my sleep. Lol and my rabbits name is Othello
babygurll19 10
What a weirdo...
Andicc 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
No one cares.
HowieDoIt 21
This may be the only chance for a "urine a lot of trouble" AND "you're in a hare-y situation" pun combo.
LynxieLynx 17
...i'm not even gonna try
RageWolf16 31
Urine a bit of a hare-y situation, OP.
Apretendbiscuit 12
That was a piss poor attempt at a pun
DocBastard 40
Be vewy vewy quiet. It's wabbit season.
ThrillJunkie 15
Duck season :)
Wizardo 34
Eeeeh what's up Doc?
kozzard 17
Wabbit season!
False_Stupidity 42
Duck season!
KiaKarma 11
Urine a hare-y situation, OP.
WhatsOpTic 11
I'm sorry Kia but you're a little late there
StompinOnCrayons 15
At least you'll wake up... to smelly sheets, but every alarm has its pro con
MidnightMusic53 37
You really shouldn't be letting your rabbit roam freely around the house without supervision. They like to chew on things...namely, cords. It's dangerous for both you and your rabbit to keep him out of his cage when you're not awake or around to keep an eye on him.
Cherryta 17
"I can't stand the rain...against my....omg ewwww"
DarkHelmet 10
So you find it ok for a rabbit to bust nuts on your neck???