Miscellaneous: Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then...

By Anonymous - 08/07/2012 11:26 - Australia

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend sneeze in his hands, and then lick it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 107

You deserved it 3 496

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 05/09/2014 16:17 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend was about to sneeze. To avoid getting his new tablet wet, he chose to sneeze right into my face instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 990

You deserved it 3 892

By rozziepop - 30/03/2012 05:37 - United States - Visalia

Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 456

You deserved it 3 524

Do it again

By thornrose22 - 01/11/2009 00:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. After about five minutes, he sneezes violently on me. I don't know what's worse, him getting snot all over my intimate bits or the fact that the sneeze felt better then what he was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 222

You deserved it 3 198

By 911 - 13/11/2008 03:57 - France

Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 230

You deserved it 2 323

By UUUGHHH - 05/02/2016 20:33 - France - Villejuif

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 148

You deserved it 2 711

By Anonymous - 04/10/2014 12:11 - United States - Brevard

Today, I tried kissing my boyfriend on the tip of his nose. He sneezed mid-kiss and headbutted me. Now, there's just an awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 677

You deserved it 4 725

By Anonymous - 28/11/2017 15:00

Today, I saw my 32-year-old boyfriend of 4 years pick his nose and eat it. The booger in question was attached to his nose and he sucked it out spaghetti-style. He then tried to kiss me. I still feel my stomach churning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 130

You deserved it 578

By Achoo - 15/10/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 894

You deserved it 5 125

By SierraDiaz2097 - 23/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Vardaman

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 615

You deserved it 9 660

By sneezer - 30/12/2008 04:54 - France

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 159

You deserved it 7 018

DocBastard 38

Sunday 8 July 2012 16:26

Snot the end of the world.

zachherbert 10

Sunday 8 July 2012 16:52

I think this relationship is snot going to work. But who nose, she's the one who picked that booger.

Comments

a563 3

Sunday 8 July 2012 18:45

Make out with him NOW!

kelsiekins 4

Sunday 8 July 2012 18:49

Nasty

linkinpark98 23

Sunday 8 July 2012 19:01

Booger breath.

s0ulslack 20

Sunday 8 July 2012 19:21

and he's still your bf?

ILuv_toaster182 5

Sunday 8 July 2012 19:31

Um,gross..say hello to the single life FYL OP. sorry you had to see that XP

thisguy45 2

Sunday 8 July 2012 19:53

Delicious

Rainadeer 2

Sunday 8 July 2012 19:56

New boyfriend time? New boyfriend time.

harbry 0

Sunday 8 July 2012 20:09

Sounds like a sticky situation...

bubblegumgirl26 6

Sunday 8 July 2012 20:43

ew...and to think you kiss him!! :o

meroze12 2

Sunday 8 July 2012 20:58

That's terribly disgusting

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Kids Cute Money Birthday Weird Awkward Love Health Abuse Relatable Scams Social Media School Education Parents Anger issues Teenagers Family Capitalism Miscellaneous Relationship advice Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee

The Top

Today, I realized that I'm the only person in my house not getting any. My sister is sleeping with my ex. My roommate is sleeping with my brother, and my mom texted me, asking to make it look like she slept in her bed so that she didn't have to do the "walk of shame" in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 457

You deserved it 2 906

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 018

You deserved it 3 408

The Top

Today, while taking out the trash, I swung the bag back and forth, which caused it to slide across my leg. An opened aluminum can inside the bag ended up slicing through my calf, causing heavy bleeding. Baked beans sent me to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 803

You deserved it 12 335

Today, I always hated not having a boyfriend during holidays, my relatives would always ask me what was wrong with me. I'm married now and my husband always finds a way to skip holiday reunions. My relatives keep on asking me what's wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 180

Today, my best friend who I have been secretly in love with forever, was ranting about her ex-girlfriend. Then she said : "If only you were gay, we'd be perfect for each other." So I took the chance to tell her I was. She responded : "Well I am still not attracted to you though." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 926

You deserved it 7 864

Today, I went to get a tattoo of my girlfriend's name to surprise her. Halfway through the tattooing, she called and broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 604

You deserved it 71 862

Today, I work as a butcher at my local supermarket. I was about to clear my area for the night to find that some assbucket has put “Fuck Joe Biden” stickers all over the frozen turkeys. I had to remove them. Even when I did, there was still sticker residue on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 146

Today, my mother and I were discussing how we couldn't believe it's been nearly a year since my dad died. Not paying attention, my husband absentmindedly added, "Time flies when you're having fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 866

You deserved it 3 632

Same thing different taste

Do it again

Top comments

Comments