Today, I went with my girlfriend to her ex-boyfriend's house party. She got incredibly drunk and I spent the whole night looking after her when she was throwing up. In the brief moment before she passed out she said "thanks Matt, you're a great boyfriend." Matt is her ex. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML
Today, my boyfriend took me out to meet his friends. It was going really well until I left to use the bathroom and two of the girls with us came in and started talking about how creepy Matt's new girlfriend is and that they're happy he's going to dump her. My boyfriend is Matt. FML
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
Today, I was upset after my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend heard and told me she would be right over. Three hours of waiting later, she stumbles in wasted. She had been at the bar, with my ex, making sure he was okay. For me, I just got a list of all the drinks she had that night. FML
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML
Today, while at a party, I ran into the girl I've liked for ages. I was so nervous, but I managed to keep the conversation going for a half hour. After mustering up the courage to ask her out on a date, her drunk, over-protective ex burst in and threw up on my shirt. Good timing, asswipe. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, It was my fiancé's 21st birthday party. It ended with him too drunk to walk and wailing about how much he misses an ex girlfriend of his that he dumped 4 years ago. FML
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Top comments
genius_man16 1
God I hate that excuse. It is NOT a truth serum. It does leave you a little uninhibited and you can sometimes say truthful things, but if you take everything a drunk person says a "the whole truth" or whatever you are clearly a moron. Alcohol in my experience makes people mix things up more than it is a "truth serum." I would guess that she said "Matt" more because it was his party, and less because she still has feelings for him. Is there a possibility she does? Sure, but I wouldn't bet on it. /rant
kayceesaysfyl 0
you shoulda left her then and there
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Comments (94)
purplepickle 0
Some people get drunk, he can accept that if he wants and she was drunk, she probably didn't even know what she was saying. Its sort of like when your parents get their kids names mixed up.
xokayyox115 0
sounds a little like my weekend except she threw up all over me and my tent. Then the next day blamed the ruined tent on me.
DomyDamsy 0
thats a fhl(f her life)
triplethreat13 0
she was terribly drunk, people say things they don't mean when they've had too much to drink. so she got your name mixed up, big deal. she was appreciative of you helping her. get over it.
shamwowman 0
why would you go to her ex-boyfriends party with her??? that's just a recipe for awkward moments.
ragsy 7
Sounds like she was just trying to make her ex jealous by bringing you.
lologirl419 0
hmm... I see the FYL button, I see the YDI button, but I can't seem to find the SO-*******-WHAT? button. People say the wrong thing when they're drunk. You gotta get over it. All these FML's complaining about things drunk people say, they really piss me off. THEY'RE DRUNK. THEY SAID THE WRONG NAME. BOO HOO. GET A LIFE. *phew* sorry for my tirade.
Neferria 0
You deserve it for taking her to her ex-boyfriend's party and allowing her to get drunk like that.
arsenic_fml 0
"allowing" her to get drunk? That's pretty offensive. and what's wrong with going to an ex's party? is it so wrong to stay friends with exes?
Dahlia_F 0
ok in all honesty, YKDI (kinda) for going to her ex's house party.. DUH!
AAAAHHHH12 2
Drunk minds speak sober truths.