Miscellaneous: Today, I went to the yearly town carnival with my friends. I...

By Upside-Down Sleeper. - United States - Pasadena

Today, I went to the yearly town carnival with my friends. I hadn't slept well the night before and when I got onto the scariest ride, I somehow fell half asleep. I woke up upside down and ended up peeing myself in terror. FML

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Miscellaneous

Serious times

Instadrama

Nice try

By Anonymous - 8/11/2020 11:03 - Austria - Innsbruck

Still pining

Today, I had a meeting in the town where my ex-girlfriend works. After the meeting, I bought some ice cream and sat on a bench in a public place. She came across with her girlfriends laughing and obviously having fun. She only looked in my direction briefly. I threw the ice cream into the trash. FML

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By unloved cat owner - United States - Carmichael

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter's school called to inform me that I needed to bring her some sneakers. Not feeling like driving the 15 minutes to her school, I told them I was away from town. Then I realized I was on my house phone. FML

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By fugachumi - United States

Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML

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By female

Today, my nineteen-year-old son attempted to mug me. With a screwdriver. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to cut class with one of my friends and we ended up going to Burger King. As we sat down at the table, I heard my name being called. My mum was getting lunch through the drive thru with my little brother and saw my car parked out front. FML

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By MaySheRestinPeace

With friends like these…

Today, a friend asked me to cover his shift at work because his grandmother died. Like any decent friend, I obliged. Later, after leaving, I walked by a bar and saw him inside, laughing and doing shots with all of our friends. FML

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By sluttydancer - United States

Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML

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By This_girll - United States - Ridgewood

Classy guy.

Today, my boyfriend of a year went to a wedding. He didn't invite me, he took his ex instead. I saw it all on Instagram. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Rhodes

Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML

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By trex_life - 14/3/2021 20:00

Chill out, Bugs

Today, I bought my sister a bunny and all it does is try to bang my cat, and shit and piss in my room to mark its territory. FML

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By Marie Foster - United States

Today, I was talking to my online therapist about my problems with relationships, mainly that guys only want sex and don't listen to me. After I'd confided in him, and told him how I felt about my issues, he told me he would marry me and have my children. FML

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By brownieswillneverbethesame - United States

Today, I was eating a brownie my grandmother had made, only to discover an inch long piece of what resembled dead skin in the middle of it. This discovery was only made after taking a bite and wondering why the consistency was wrong. FML

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By Huedadaa - France - Cauffry

Today, I asked my students to buy a copy of Anne Frank's diary for an assignment. One of them asked me in all seriousness who wrote it. FML

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By fuck off, eh! - Canada - Milton

Today, my hippy nutjob of a roommate threw a bitch fit at me, all because he saw me chopping down a tree in Minecraft. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I finally found out whether or not my boyfriend is cheating on me. Turns out he isn't. He is cheating on his wife, with me. FML

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By occam's pube-razor - United States - Buena Vista

Today, I parked my car, went to pay for my spot, and returned to my car only to find a parking violation ticket tucked under the windshield wipers. This all happened in less than a minute. FML

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27588

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1977

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By limpdick9 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

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35198

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By Check Writer - United States - Oceanside

Today, I was notified that the company did not give me a raise two months ago like I thought. The increase was a typo. Two months ago I wrote a thank you for the raise email to my boss. Now I get to write a check to the company to pay back my "raise." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Arlington

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

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By MileHighGirlGuy

Today, I almost got upgraded to business class because the gentleman at the check-in was so mortified at having called me "sir" instead of "mam." However, before it could go through, his colleague stopped him, telling me that it was "an easy mistake to make." FML

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6128

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By desigirl - United States - Johnson City

Today, my boyfriend told me I should stop talking about his major gambling problem because he still loves me even though I gained weight. Apparently that evens things out. FML

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By Kitten_Love - France - Paris

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

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By Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, after months of job searching I got a job interview. I also later got a phone call from the manager informing me they burned down, and all current employees will be relocated or dismissed, and that my interview, scheduled for tomorrow, is postponed indefinitely. FML

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By yay! - United States

Today, I found my son's iPod touch and was looking at a light-saber app. He walked into the living room to see me fighting the cat and making sound effects to myself. FML

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By fml - United States - Billerica

Today, they introduced us to this cheesy school email program. I was trying to be funny and made a draft and sent it to "All" and I typed, "Thanos did nothing wrong." The send button was right next to the discard email button. I sent,"Thanos did nothing wrong" to every kid and teacher at school. FML

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By fatass - United States - Kearney

Today, I received several pairs of panties in the mail that I'd ordered online. When I opened the box, I was shocked because every pair was basically huge granny-panties. I was sure none would fit properly, but I tried them on to be sure. They fit perfectly. FML

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By Unlucky. - United States

Today, I took my parking permit off my car to debate a ticket that I got for not having my permit displayed. Twenty minutes later, when I got back to my car, I had another ticket on my window for not having my parking permit displayed because I was using it to disprove the first ticket. FML

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31841

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By NewFiancee - United States

Today, I went out for dinner with my parents where they asked me if I was still dating my boyfriend so I answered no. They quickly responded by saying, "Oh so you finally got rid of that douchebag? It's not like he was getting anywhere in life anyways." I answered no because he's my fiancé now. FML

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50156

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By faaail - Ireland - Cork

Today, while studying for a big test at the library, some idiots started playing hide-and-seek. After putting up with their snorting and giggling for nearly an hour, I finally lost my shit and told them to knock it off. I then got kicked out for causing a disturbance. FML

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By IDon't - Australia - Berkeley Vale

Today, my fiancée told me she can't marry me. Our wedding day is tomorrow and around 20 of our 180 guests attending have travelled half way around the world just for the occasion. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/3/2021 03:00 - Philippines - Manila

Can't win

Today, my mom told me to stop using my phone and talk to them, but whenever I do that, they just end up yelling at me and telling me to go to my room. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I witnessed a homeless man fall off of his bike and land face first onto the pavement. Bleeding and shivering in the 40 degree weather, I gave him the coat off of my back. He got up like nothing happened and sprinted away with it. Oh yeah, my wallet was in the inside pocket. FML

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25837

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By Lana - Austria

Today, while sitting at my desk at work, a co-worker asked for my help. It was only after I had walked over to his desk, bent over, answered his question, and walked back to my stall, that I felt a breeze. My tube top had slid down across my breasts, revealing my bra to the entire office. FML

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12824

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By Savy - United States - Mesa

Today, I was tailgated by a car with his high beams on for an hour. Any time I changed my speed or lane, he would do the same. I finally managed to get away from him because a cop pulled me over and gave me a speeding ticket. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I asked a coworker if she would cover for me on Easter because I want to spend it with my 3 year old daughter. She said no because she wants to spend Easter with her kids, too. She doesn't have kids. FML

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By unattractive - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to pick his nose for him. FML

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32448

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By Username - United States

Today, I wanted to propose to my girlfriend, so I bought M and M's which I had customized with the words "Will you marry me?" on them. She ate them all without reading them. FML

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By yeueid - Estonia

Today, I found out that whenever I text my boyfriend something cute, he texts his friends and asks what to say in his reply. Basically, I've been talking to his friends all the time. FML

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Top comments

By EvilLittleGirl | 24

#6280599 - Sunday 3 May 2015 19:07

FYL to whoever had to clean up

By feven | 32

#6280594 - Sunday 3 May 2015 19:04

That sounds terrifying

COMMENTS

By Welshite | 39

#6280587 - Sunday 3 May 2015 19:02

It was the clown in the ride wasn't it? They exist only to terrorize innocents.

Zelphoric | 25

#6280683 - Sunday 3 May 2015 20:19

Quit clowning around Welshite, obviously it was the prices of carnival food that horrified OP

casey_ct | 10

#6280691 - Sunday 3 May 2015 20:28

Clowning around X,D IM DONE

lil_ham1644 | 29

#6280769 - Sunday 3 May 2015 22:59

Not soon enough

SystemofaBlink41 | 27

#6281104 - Monday 4 May 2015 5:31

OP must have hawkeyes to see the prices from all the way up the roller coaster.

By Benmantha | 31

#6280593 - Sunday 3 May 2015 19:03

The owner must be really pissed off by how boring his ride is, for people to fall asleep on it.

IvyRizzzzoli | 25

#6280629 - Sunday 3 May 2015 19:28

She pissed herself because of how scary it was to wake up to that, she fell asleep because of the lack of sleep

deathgrips | 16

#6280633 - Sunday 3 May 2015 19:29

I think OP fell asleep either before the ride was about to start or during the slow incline many scary rides have

doodlecloud | 26

#6281285 - Monday 4 May 2015 11:48

I think she was probably more scared of waking up upside down than the actual content of the rise...was probably still scary though.

By feven | 32

#6280594 - Sunday 3 May 2015 19:04

That sounds terrifying

By markotut | 10

#6280595 - Sunday 3 May 2015 19:04

That must be imbarising. Feel bad for you op

Secret_Ninjaa | 35

#6280609 - Sunday 3 May 2015 19:12

*Embarrassing
Sorry, I had to.

AWildNoeAppeared | 11

#6280706 - Sunday 3 May 2015 20:58

You definitely had to for this mistake

R2Y2 | 22

#6280747 - Sunday 3 May 2015 22:07

Yeah, you definitely weren't being nitpicky here. I'm hoping English is your secondary language, friend.

By MrsHaxxo | 22

#6280596 - Sunday 3 May 2015 19:04

I am torn between feeling sorry for you and laughing my ass off x3

starile | 19

#6280682 - Sunday 3 May 2015 20:17

Ah, the feeling we all get by reading FML.

onlychildFTW | 33

#6281078 - Monday 4 May 2015 5:07

Why not both? Haha

By lyricalservant | 21

#6280597 - Sunday 3 May 2015 19:05

you pissed on yrself? You did say you were upside down.

By PinkiePiePony | 19

#6280598 - Sunday 3 May 2015 19:05

Don't worry, this will be a perfect way to train to be a bat.

Anyways people get spooked on rides all the time. You're not alone. :)

By EvilLittleGirl | 24

#6280599 - Sunday 3 May 2015 19:07

FYL to whoever had to clean up

xKrisSmoove | 21

#6280722 - Sunday 3 May 2015 21:16

Another FML to OP, gotta clean up the piss off their pants

interesting33 | 36

#6280749 - Sunday 3 May 2015 22:08

And anyone underneath OP!

By whitetiger13131 | 26

#6280606 - Sunday 3 May 2015 19:11

Wait...if you were upside down when you peed yourself....

By tchopper1969 | 16

#6280611 - Sunday 3 May 2015 19:13

I'm sorry but that's funny as hell