Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had a dream I was going the bathroom. I then woke up peeing, but I didn’t wet the bed yet. As I ran to the bathroom while half asleep and in the dark, I rammed into the wall. On my way back to bed, I tripped and accidentally slapped my fiancé in an effort to stop myself from falling over. FML
Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML
Today, I woke up because I really had to pee. I got out of bed, went to the bathroom and went back to bed. Or so I thought. I did pee, but I only dreamed that I got out of bed. FML
Today, I woke up desperately needing to pee. I sat up in bed, naked, and tried to decide if I should get dressed, or run for it and hope no one saw me. I guess I took too long to decide, because as soon as I stood up to run, I pissed on the floor. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I got up to go get some water. When I came back, I was going to flop onto my bed, but I faceplanted into my floor. I'd forgotten that I'd rearranged my room and moved my bed. FML
Today, I woke up on the floor with my feet still in the bed. I had passed out while vomiting into a bucket, since I couldn't make it to the bathroom in time. The bucket had spilled all over my bed. FML
Today, I fainted in my bathroom, full on naked and sprawled out on my bathroom floor. When I came to, I was in pain from landing on my side and very disoriented. I sat up and could see my husband just roll over in bed and go to sleep. He didn’t even ask me if I was OK. FML
Today, my back hurt really badly, so I decided to stay in bed. After a while, I sat up to shut the door. When I leaned over to reach it, I fell off my bed and face-planted the floor. After picking myself up and getting comfortable in my bed again, I realized the door was still open. FML
Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML
Today, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. At least, I thought I did, until I woke up to my pants, sheets, and boyfriend all soaking wet. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
JMichael 26
That is a bad day..dear lord I hope I don't have those days.
christian1509 21
In 5th grade I dreamt that I had woken up and walked to the toilet and peed only to wake up in pissed sheets :/
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (92)
JMichael 26
That is a bad day..dear lord I hope I don't have those days.
stingray112 24
Agreed I still have those mornings where I don't even know what's going on and I do something stupid
Tuffmuffin 10
I stood up too fast and got dizzy, I passed out, broke my nose in two places, and got a concussion. So its not really that bad, just go take a shower.
incoherentrmblr 22
Talk about a bad case of vertigo...
adacurtis 9
haha, we've all done something without meaning to in a daze of being half-asleep. Hopefully no one else was there! that would be 10x more embarrassing.
shay_serendipity 29
.
Bloink 25
#42 very insightful
SnowKitten 14
At least you didn't sleep on your toilet
ethan_unoxx 29
how is that suppose to help? besides, if OP slept on the toilet, she wouldn't have had an accident.
Rallred32 20
Actually, OP could have died on the toilet. Believe it or not, thousands die on the toilet simply by sticking to the toilet seat.
EverestMelting 23
Yeah but #12, sleeping on the toilet is the best way to get a hemorrhoid.
randomcrazyguy 17
Can you explain how sticking to the toilet can kill someone? I'm guessing it's by falling off though
christian1509 21
In 5th grade I dreamt that I had woken up and walked to the toilet and peed only to wake up in pissed sheets :/
TheMathMajor 26
I did this once in high school :/
xLIGHTS_fml 23
I did that on my grandmas bed when I was still in kindergarten. I dreamt that I was going to the bathroom and wet the bed. That dream seemed so real.
christian1509 21
It happens to the best of us xD
onlychildFTW 34
I think it happened to everyone at least once in their life. I did it a few times as well.
bleedingglitter 24
My 4 year old niece slept in bed with me one night and peed the bed. The wet feeling made me dream I had peed the bed though so when I woke up to find my pants dry I was confused at first. Anyways now I am constantly anxious that something like that will happen to me.
WhereIsUsernames 14
I still do that sometimes
jrod9327 17
That is some seriously unfortunate circumstances. If you didn't hit your head, then it could've been worse.
nix1993 41
What an odd statement... That's like saying 'If you weren't attacked by an axe murderer then it could have been worse'. Generally things that happen in every day life could ALWAYS have been worse.
jrod9327 17
I realized that afterward. It was a very awkward way of saying at least op didn't get seriously hurt.
Mc2013 18
When I was a child I used to have dreams about waking up in my bed, walking to the toilet and using it. Then... Reality sank in and I would wake up to wet Barbie sheets.
Mauskau 36
When I was about 4/5 I had a dream I was in a land of floating toilets and was trying them out, hello wet bed. I also had a dream I fell off a cliff then fell out of bed.
foxwasalamb 24
i fell asleep on the toilet once n woke up crying. it was embarrassing
Gittoh 21
#29 That is called: being drunk ;) I too have/had dreams where I would fall into a black hole or just randomly fall and then fall out of bed or wake myself up because I get scared haha. I often wakes up on my sofa, so I guess I'm sleep walking too..
foxwasalamb 24
i was 7? i definitely was not drunk
BlockOfRedStone 25
One time I woke up in the shower. Apparently I had slept walk in the middle of the night to the bathroom, took my clothes off, turned on the shower, got in and even managed to apply some shampoo to my hair. It was when my mother started banging on the bathroom door asking what I was doing up so late that I had snapped out of my hypnosis.
marcus3695 3
59, that is quite the dream you had that managed to make you do that in tge middle of the night lol
stronghand0331 17
I see you're going senile sooner than anticipated
Kromcakes 9
I would be so pissed if I were you.
Lct1196 31
Please dont make some shitty puns about being pissed off or being in a shitty situation. Its beating a horse that has been dead since the start of FML
Welshite 40
Ooh, it sounds like urine trouble, #8.
Khaleesi_26 30
Y'all myswell stop getting annoyed with the horrible puns or ignore them, because no matter how many times you ask them to stop they will just get worse.
devildog562 33
Just shake it off and flush these down votes out of your memory.
sydneysays 15
Sounds like some serious confusion
annarcheer 19
that's unique.. sorry
onlychildFTW 34
Not really. Lots have wet their beds thinking they were on a toilet while asleep/in a sleep like state.