Today, I went to the mall with a couple of friends. While walking through the parking lot, we saw a very dirty car. You couldn't even see the inside of the car through the windows. I thought it would be funny to trace on the window, "Wash Me." After doing so, the driver got out of the car. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to get my car washed at one of those places where you can watch through the glass. I watched in horror, face pressed against the glass, as my car went through with the window down. FML
Today, I noticed that someone smeared "wash me" into the grime of my car. I decided to take it to get a wash. I pulled up, put my vehicle in neutral, and kicked back as it slowly started to move. You never realize how long it takes a sun roof to close until water is dumping on your head. FML
Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML
Today, after getting off work from a horrible 16 hour shift, I went out to my truck. My windows were completely covered in window chalk, to the point that I couldn't leave. I had to spend the next hour and a half washing it all off while my manager laughed about it. FML
Today, I went to the beach with a friend. We'd forgotten to get our towels out of the SUV, so I rushed back to the parking lot. I opened the passenger-side door and climbed in to begin my search. After ten seconds or so, I realized I'd busted into someone else's car. FML
Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML
Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML
Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML
Today, I wanted to give my car a quick wash, to get the salt and road grime off. My girlfriend lodged herself up my ass and decided that we should deep-clean all four of our cars, then screamed at me when I didn't show enough enthusiasm. FML
Today, I went to Safeway. Go in, get stuff, come out, and I have almost no room to get into my car because an SUV was parked in a compact spot next to me all crooked. Irritated, I got a pen and paper and wrote 'Nice parking you F*ing idiot' and stuck it on the windshield. Then I notice someone was in the SUV. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
01100110 0
YDI, don't touch other people's cars.
KeithHarris 0
You could always tell him the car told you to do it.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (88)
nicelyjohnson 0
#4, he couldn't check for passengers because of the dirty windows. Did you even read the whole thing?
FPsLife 5
Believe it or not, some people have a bit too much to take care of, barely making ends meet to put cleaning their car as the number one priority. I'm sure they'd just love having to drive a car with "Wash Me' and whatever else manages to enter your mind written on it. You people need to grow up.
Allstarr23 1
this happened at a mall. Malls aren't a necessity. And it is aFML. The slob couldn't take 5 minutes to run water over his car. Pull the stock out of your ass and relax a little
koda_fml 0
lol he probably couldn't see you either anyway
Jel 0
You should of wrote, "I wish my wife was this dirty"
nazooer 11
Shut up #29, what are you a woman?
ThatsAli3 0
#49 What are you a moron? I'm a woman and i don't have an issue with other people's dirty cars. Stop generalizing. K thanks. agree with #43
Kitty34_fml 0
Doing that on your own car or your parents/friends car is funny. Doing it on a strangers car is weird.
zombi_fml 0
#14: Yeah, because this humor is so edgy, you'd have to be a real square not to find this funny. Give me a break, writing "Wash Me" on a car was funny back in 3rd grade, but most of us have moved past that level by now. What #9 wrote was much funnier.
Iloveblackmen 0
Wowww... why do these people take shit so seriously...
lphilmyster2 0
lol i did the same thing to a dirty car but instead i put "i suck ****" and drew a pic of a penis