Today, I went to the mall with a couple of friends. While walking through the parking lot, we saw a very dirty car. You couldn't even see the inside of the car through the windows. I thought it would be funny to trace on the window, "Wash Me." After doing so, the driver got out of the car. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to get my car washed at one of those places where you can watch through the glass. I watched in horror, face pressed against the glass, as my car went through with the window down. FML
Today, I noticed that someone smeared "wash me" into the grime of my car. I decided to take it to get a wash. I pulled up, put my vehicle in neutral, and kicked back as it slowly started to move. You never realize how long it takes a sun roof to close until water is dumping on your head. FML
Today, whilst at a red light in my car, a homeless man with a spray bottle and a dirty rag came over to clean my windows. He started with the driver's window, which was wide open, and whatever was in his spray bottle smelled suspiciously like urine. FML
Today, after getting off work from a horrible 16 hour shift, I went out to my truck. My windows were completely covered in window chalk, to the point that I couldn't leave. I had to spend the next hour and a half washing it all off while my manager laughed about it. FML
Today, I went to the beach with a friend. We'd forgotten to get our towels out of the SUV, so I rushed back to the parking lot. I opened the passenger-side door and climbed in to begin my search. After ten seconds or so, I realized I'd busted into someone else's car. FML
Today, I was at work, a grocery store, and my manager came up to me while I was on my lunch break. He told me that a customer said someone in the parking lot had been loitering around the cars. I went outside to investigate and saw a drunk man pooping on the front of a car. That car was mine. FML
Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML
Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML
Today, I wanted to give my car a quick wash, to get the salt and road grime off. My girlfriend lodged herself up my ass and decided that we should deep-clean all four of our cars, then screamed at me when I didn't show enough enthusiasm. FML
Today, I went to Safeway. Go in, get stuff, come out, and I have almost no room to get into my car because an SUV was parked in a compact spot next to me all crooked. Irritated, I got a pen and paper and wrote 'Nice parking you F*ing idiot' and stuck it on the windshield. Then I notice someone was in the SUV. FML
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Top comments
01100110 0
YDI, don't touch other people's cars.
KeithHarris 0
You could always tell him the car told you to do it.
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Comments (88)
cthulhu1138 1
When will the kiddies learn not to touch other people's things, especially if they don't know the person? In some places, this kind of thing is grounds for an ass-whooping.
bcmg44 0
I hope he drop-kicked you across the parking lot.
butteredtoast 0
Lame. YDI
toolman 0
made me laugh. but YDI
yourpathetic 0
pathetic little immature joke played by a immature little person. I hope the driver told you to **** off or grow up, cause either or sounds nice right now. :) OP grow up, cause being a douchebag wont get you a job in the real world, but you can always resort to sucking dick, which i take you will do, because this doesnt sound like the first time youve done this either.
playerhata 0
The driver deserved this one for being such a dirty slob. Even if the car is a POS, just wash it! No need to let it get so dirty you can't see into it! I am calling the police on the driver! This is a safety violation! HURUMPH!
Fields4mint 0
At least you wrote it on the window. If you wrote it on the paint, you could have scratched it, and then I would have expected a beating from the owner.
sparda4355 0
NOT an FML... What would be an FML Dirty car, wrote wash me, driver got out and beat the living shit out of me... then ripped my shirt off, pissed on it and used it to wipe the words wash me off of his car! Threw the shirt in my face, kicked me in the nuts, got back in the car and drove over my legs! FML
genius_man16 1
I feel sorry for everyone who is bashing the OP. I mean come on, all they did was trace their hand through some dirt, it's not like he got inside the damn thing. Jesus I personally find this hilarious, if i was the driver i would have just said "you gonna do it for me?" some people need to find their funny bone
RK5000 0
Whatever, owned the dirty car's driver.