By Hmmmm - 20/09/2012 14:58 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I was made aware that my teenage son used "Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter" as a reference point in a class debate as if it was a biopic. Oh dear. FML
I agree, your life sucks 21 593
You deserved it 2 910

Same thing different taste

Top comments

theten_fml 9

Abe Lincoln freed the slaves after he returned from hunting vampires on his unicorn.

If Abraham Lincoln had actually gone around killing sparkly vampires, he'd have been my hero for TWO reasons.


olpally 32

Creative, yet very odd... Sounds like another chris griffin in the making... Be afraid op... Lol.

Freeing the slaves by day, Hunting Vampires by night hopefully those twilight ones.

Abraham Lincon did not free the slaves...

ryry013 6

81 has some validity to his statement. The emancipation proclamation freed the slaves, but Abraham Lincoln has no power over what's legal and what isn't, especially in a country which is not his own. Once the civil war was over, the amendment was passed that outlawed slavery. However, Abraham is generally credited with the freeing of the slaves, 81.

Well said 86.. But some people like to give Honest Abe more than just "credit"; as people, like Tim Burton, thought he was truly awesome!

PYLrulz 17

Look at the bright side... He isn't into Twilight... I hope

theten_fml 9

Abe Lincoln freed the slaves after he returned from hunting vampires on his unicorn.

It's true! He couldn't have the vampires going after the slaves.

maxmex13 7

People had slaves as body sheilds from the vampires for their owners. Once Lincoln eradicated them all, slaves were no longer required

HelloGuys 4

Actually the slaves had magical powers & created vampires to feed on there slave owners because they didnt want to expose there magical essence to the unworthy. Vampires were the perfect distraction. Then lincoln had to go kill them all. ( lol i expect many downvotes, but i wanted to add a twist to the story) :3

Nooooo the slaves didn't create the vampires, they just conjured them! It was their ancestors in Africa that created them and then one, Count Dracula, thought it was too bloody sunny so moved to Transylvania! Thus beginning universal vampire mobility.. Including the United States of America.

Javee 17

They expect us to believe anything nowadays.

amandajlucas2015 2

The movie did have some historical accuracy too it so if he was young I could see y he would get confused.. Maybe lol

Here's a fact everyone should know: vampires are not real.

67, According to every show on history channel, " there's no evidence that they don't exist!" I'm joking of course! Just so you pessimistic FMLers know...

Stormdriven37 6

72 You went full retard, man. Never go full retard.

xavierpineda2 4

I'm feel so bad for you OP. on that note, what an idiot!!! LMAO

Is he 5? Only saying this because I believed Jack and Rose from Titanic were real people when I was 5.

32 you just shattered my life long dream. Next you will tell me Santa isn't real.

My dream when I was younger was to catch all the Pokemon. I believed that one day I'd set on my journey to catch them all. :D

I hope you weren't serious about that comment.

Dude when I was younger I always though Buffy the vampire slayer was real. I wanted to be like Willow and be an awesome witch, but then my sis shattered my dreams by telling me none of it was real. :/

PhishloverA 14

Santa was a real person. He's long since dead, but his ghost brings us presents, if we're good!

Sorry OP FYL. But thank you for making me feel better about my kids. LOL

If Abraham Lincoln had actually gone around killing sparkly vampires, he'd have been my hero for TWO reasons.

zingline89 18

The first being that he was able to grow that badass beard you've always wanted? It's okay Doogie, your peach fuzz will fill in sooner or later :)

zingline89 18

Holy shit. I made this comment totally off the cuff. Right after posting it, I did my weekly check on your blog and ran into your recent post basically talking about the fact that you have a baby face and can't grow facial hair. The sheer coincidence is freaking me out.

No, the first was that whole freeing the slaves thing.

HelloGuys 4

The second reason would be because he wouldve killed the cullens and put it on tape for all of us to watch and enjoy. With a side of popcorn

Our history is being torn apart, by these Hollywood movies on historical people. Pretty soon they'll think Benjamin Franklin was a president. However your kid should be old enough, or told movie are usual not true, and always dramatic drawn out. Sorry OP.

It's not even Hollywood; some people are just not educated. I've had people in my high school AP classes thinking Ben Franklin WAS a president. Everyone else just stared at the person in shock.

Shame, unfortunately I know this all to well. I am a Revolutionary War re actor, and I went to do an presentation, at a American history class in a college where the student where majoring in history( for teaching I'm assuming). When I told them my name and I'm a revolutionary war re actor they asked me, if I was with the north or the south.

If that were me, I would just point to the door and be like GTFO

History is ruined by movies... Yes... You know what else is a huge issue these days? Grammar. Grammar is an issue.

It ain't never not gonna be un-fixed so never don't stop not telling dudez not to speak wrong.

I once broke up with a chick because she insisted there were only 48 states

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Someone in the 1800's did write a novel stating good ol' honest Abe did hunt down monsters of such.