Today, I went to the Doctor's for a mole my husband had said was, "growing and changing color". It turned out to be a wood tick. My husband knew, but said it was too "icky" to take off himself. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me there was a tick on my shoulder and that he would remove it so I shouldn't worry. After about a half hour, lots of blood, and a ton of pain, he told me it was just a mole. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for what I thought was a persistent bug bite. Turns out it was a mole I'd never noticed. I had been scratching it then applying anti-itch cream for weeks. FML
Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML
Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going really well until I noticed a bug on my interviewer's lower neck. I shouted that something really disgusting was crawling on him. It turns out it was his big hairy mole. FML
Today, I woke up to a pain on my eyelid. I stumbled into the bathroom to find a huge tick attached to the edge of my eyelid. My dad used tweezers to pull it off, only the head stuck. I had to go to the doctor and sit there for 15 minutes so she could pull the rest out. FML
Today, I was with my kids. We saw a tiny little bug and they started freaking out. Trying to show them that bugs are not scary, I picked it up. It bit me and now I have to go to the doctor because my hand is the size of a balloon. FML
Today, I realized that the "pimples" on my back weren't pimples at all. Because I was unable to see how bad they were for the last week, I never caught on to the fact the they were, in fact, ticks. FML
Today, I noticed I had a dead gnat stuck on my chin. This was after an hour-long appointment with a good looking doctor. FML
Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML
Today, after getting home from being in the field for a week, my wife who's a nurse, convinced me I had a spider bite on my penis. After rushing to the ER and standing nude in a cold exam room while the ER staff checked me out, I learned it's just an ingrown hair. FML
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Top comments
ChenEighty 20
Next time he wants a *******, tell him it's too "icky".
photoquilty 6
Did you punch him? I would've punched him.
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Comments (85)
DanqGirlxoxo 13
Is this the same man that washes his ex-wifes dishes ?
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Very manly of him.
edris_305 21
How long was the wood tick on him !!!
simoncat 11
Hubby is a wuss. Too bad. The greatest revenge would be him getting leeches and them being too icky for you to remove. Can you take him swimming?
VeganVampyre 27
Nah, leeches are too easy to pull off. What she should do is find a way to get him in the ocean and get a bad jellyfish sting. Then she can watch him debate whether peeing on it is "too icky" to be worth stopping the pain.
uhohhcece 4
I would've punched him lol.
Posthuman 26
Ticks suck more than your asshole husband. Release bees into the bathroom next time he's showering.
hanielfavela 6
They are pretty easy to take off, i think he was just being a little pussy about it. Man up dude.
DCHCA 1
Your husband is an A.hole
dontpanic_fml 32
Nobody's impressed if you pretend that it's easy to take off a deer, dog, wood or other tick. Yes, I will fight till death about this.
brittyed 11
I would freak.the.fxck.out. Ticks and spiders, shudders. Hate them. Your husband could have at least told you it was a tick instead of a mole though. Jeez.