Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after going to the beach with my guy friend, I thought I looked pretty good in front of him in a bikini. Later he whispered in my ear, "You have a lot of hairs sticking out of your bottom." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML
Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
Today, I was chatting with my boyfriend and his mates barefoot on the grass. I suddenly felt something flick across my feet, so I let out a startled scream. Turns out it was my toe hairs rustling in the breeze. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the beach. I though he was being really sweet by putting sunscreen on my back as I layed on my stomach. I got home later, and felt that my back was sore. Then I saw the giant penis on my back that been burnt in. FML
Today, I was in gym class talking to a guy I like. My friend then decided to come up behind me and pants me, pulling down my underwear along with them. His only comment? "Someone needs to shave." FML
Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were on a picnic date out in the country, things got a little heated. When we were switching positions, he screamed and started running around. Turns out neither of us noticed the beehive in the tree above us until his dick got stung. FML
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Top comments
Cinn_fml 23
Well, you knew how revealing your swimsuit would be, therefore if you could see more hair than you wanted to be seen, you should have dealt with it. Though if he gets freaked out by something natural, you might want to reconsider his maturity levels. Unless he was just joking.
billywhyte 0
BAHAHA! wait....was there really a squirrel?
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Comments (253)
danielleeycakes 3
uh I thought every girl knew that you're supposed to at least try to clean up "down there" when you're going to the beach... especially if you're going with a guy.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Ugh, I thought every girl had some self-esteem and knew they didn't have to prepare their ****** for penetration for just about any loser they meet once. It's the beach, not an orgy! Are you THAT desperate, #182?? OP didn't say she had an unkempt furry monster of a bikini area, just that she didn't shave lower down 'there'. (If the guy only saw it when she laid down, it's clear it was an intimate area, or he'd have been seeing it from the start...) Something the douche of a guy wouldn't even have noticed if his eyes had stayed where they were supposed to, btw... Crotch level is okay, staring in search of the the vaginal area is rather pathetic. If he's going to do it, he's gotta be discreet about it and not utter childish comments. Either that, or he's gotta get used to the idea his loser self is never going to lose his virginity, because no real man would have made such a comment...
skyttlz 32
I'm usually lazy about shaving except for bikini line that's what people could see. shave what could be seen if u were wearing undies
biskitbukit 7
This is actually pretty funny. Good for you :)
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Not shaving was the right choice. 1) You saved yourself the bother to shave for such a failure of a jerk. 2) You got to find out early on that he's a stupid little douche who will never get laid. Hopefully you could then proceed to drowning the loser in the sand and dumping his remains.
HeteroBear 0
Is the McfurBurger on the dollar menu?
HighStakes 0
BONER POLICE
crazyaces89 7
that sucks...should have either worn swim shorts or just trimmed your bikini line at least
GeekMaster6000 3
This is the single most hilarious thing I've read in about a week.. Lawl
HockeyBaibe 0
Ahahaha! This reminds me of that episode of Phineis and Ferb when Candece has Squirrels in her pant!!! hahaha Best show ever. Don't effing diss it!
haitilover 0
wow