Intimacy: Today, I went to the bathroom and used the urinal. When I was...

By randm1 - 02/12/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom and used the urinal. When I was done, I closed my zipper on my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 103

You deserved it 8 723

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Same thing different taste

By Bobby M - 16/05/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 517

You deserved it 10 685

By loser - 10/10/2009 20:45 - France

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 601

You deserved it 61 283

By Anonymous - 15/05/2018 01:30

Today, I really had to pee at work and rushed to the urinal. I unzipped but couldn't find the hole in the front of my boxers and ended up pissing my pants. I had put my boxers on backwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 458

You deserved it 3 696

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 587

You deserved it 22 036

By itwaswarm - 25/09/2015 21:04 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 602

You deserved it 1 754

By not cool - 28/06/2013 05:16 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 806

You deserved it 3 177

By DrewK - 14/05/2013 20:09 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 878

You deserved it 4 525

By NotALuckyGuy - 07/04/2015 16:19 - United States - Columbus

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 032

You deserved it 47 385

By Anonymous - 01/05/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 886

You deserved it 13 662

By pantyripper - 24/03/2014 12:39 - Australia - Essendon

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 303

You deserved it 21 652

blland 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 23:45

lucky. imagine doing that without foreskin...

ChristinaLuv 0

Thursday 3 December 2009 18:07

penises are ugly either way.. and i think they're nicer with a foreskin

Comments

igotnerve 0

Tuesday 17 August 2010 22:05

total 'there's something about mary' moment

isurus_fml 0

Tuesday 31 August 2010 8:28

frank n beans! lol. foreskin. gross. so glad i dont have that.

joshieboy84 0

Tuesday 12 October 2010 13:34

And how long have you had your penis? YDI

guenter 0

Wednesday 27 October 2010 10:46

classic

alexvegaboy 0

Friday 19 November 2010 8:44

u just got circumsized LOL

MiGman 5

Tuesday 30 November 2010 9:25

painful. happens to a lot of guys

IowAuburn_fan77 4

Sunday 30 January 2011 9:01

I'm just wondering how old are you. I mean I had this happen to me when I was little but as an older kid in teens or adult jeez. but I feel ur pain tho.

smump 0

Sunday 20 March 2011 9:06

Omg ur poor mangled manhood

sharkwkrox 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 0:44

L.M.A.O.

katiepatraaax 0

Sunday 21 August 2011 4:59

which is why you circumcise. lol.

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Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 796

You deserved it 16 309

Today, I arrived at a camp and met one of my roommates. At bedtime, I had energy still, so I did push-ups. The guy was asleep or so I thought because he was facing the wall. The guy thought I was jacking off and told everyone I did it in the middle of our room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 818

You deserved it 2 837

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 54 159

You deserved it 6 370

Today, I haven’t spoken to my husband in a week, and when I finally spoke to him he thanked me because he’s gotten so much work done round the house, caught up on all his paperwork for his job, and reconnected with his Xbox friends. I didn’t realise I was such a fucking distraction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 1 564

Today, I was giving a presentation at work but accidentally spilled water all over my laptop. I tried to dry it off, but it wouldn't turn on. I had to give the presentation awkwardly using my phone and everyone took the piss out of me and my shoddy performance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 244

Today, I decided to get a Blizzard from Dairy Queen. As bent down to put my pen away, my Blizzard somehow defied the laws of gravity and fell on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 230

You deserved it 4 251

Today, I got more happy birthday wishes on my porn account than my Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 036

You deserved it 31 002

Today, I played a volleyball game at my school. Not only did I miss the winning point, the ball hit my face in the process, which resulted in popping a big fat zit on my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 576

You deserved it 5 232

Same thing different taste

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