Intimacy: Today, I went to the bathroom and used the urinal. When I was...

By randm1 - 02/12/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom and used the urinal. When I was done, I closed my zipper on my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 103

You deserved it 8 723

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Same thing different taste

By Bobby M - 16/05/2011 16:33 - Ireland

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 517

You deserved it 10 685

By loser - 10/10/2009 20:45 - France

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 601

You deserved it 61 283

By Anonymous - 15/05/2018 01:30

Today, I really had to pee at work and rushed to the urinal. I unzipped but couldn't find the hole in the front of my boxers and ended up pissing my pants. I had put my boxers on backwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 458

You deserved it 3 696

By Anonymous - 21/03/2012 04:50 - Canada

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 587

You deserved it 22 036

By itwaswarm - 25/09/2015 21:04 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I was peeing at a urinal, when the man next to me finished up and shook his penis. I got splashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 602

You deserved it 1 754

By not cool - 28/06/2013 05:16 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 806

You deserved it 3 177

By DrewK - 14/05/2013 20:09 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 878

You deserved it 4 525

By NotALuckyGuy - 07/04/2015 16:19 - United States - Columbus

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 032

You deserved it 47 385

By Anonymous - 01/05/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, I had to pee really bad so I tried to unlock my door as fast as I could. I put my key in and turned it too hard, the key snapped inside. I ended up peeing on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 886

You deserved it 13 662

By pantyripper - 24/03/2014 12:39 - Australia - Essendon

Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 303

You deserved it 21 652

blland 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 23:45

lucky. imagine doing that without foreskin...

ChristinaLuv 0

Thursday 3 December 2009 18:07

penises are ugly either way.. and i think they're nicer with a foreskin

Comments

macancheeese 0

Friday 2 September 2011 8:47

Circumcision FTW!!!!

downie98 1

Friday 14 October 2011 9:56

Unlucky hahaha but that hurts like a bitch!!!

Goodlife918975 6

Sunday 16 October 2011 2:59

Been there done that

bagleface 6

Friday 9 December 2011 7:45

One of the worst pains a man can feel

BullletProof 5

Friday 27 January 2012 4:49

Sucks, but ydi a bit for not being more careful. make sure its in your pants all the way before you zip silly :)

ImTheAlpha 30

Sunday 4 March 2012 7:16

Oooh, I'm a girl and even I knøw that's gøtta hurt a LOT. Ouch...

shinshoku13 19

Saturday 21 April 2012 19:10

No underwear?

gfoxx17 0

Sunday 29 April 2012 23:55

That would mean you weren't wearing underwear....bullshit

cheeseman801 4

Friday 11 May 2012 7:37

Ooh,I hear you. That's happened to me before and I'm circumsized!!!

trollololurface 2

Monday 18 June 2012 6:30

Ahh circumcision is the way me friend

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Today, my wife and I got frisky in the living room, completely forgetting we recently gave our adult daughter access to our home security cameras for safety reasons. The cameras didn’t see anything but she now keeps making fun of my orgasm noises, which apparently she found hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 452

Today, my girlfriend was cooking dinner. To my horror, she took the chicken out and immediately began scrubbing it with dish soap. When I asked what the hell she was doing, she stared at me like I was insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 109

The Top

Today, my German colleague complained that when I spoke German, I had a Swiss accent in it, which was "not nice to hear". Well Honey, we live in Switzerland, what accent did you expect us to have when you moved here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 96

Today, I told my boss I could handle running the floor buffer. Thirty seconds in, I lost control and became pinned to the wall by its force. In my state of shock and embarrassment, I didn't realize the only thing keeping me trapped was my grip on the accelerator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 296

You deserved it 24 017

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 387

You deserved it 4 439

Today, after years of not speaking with my birth mother, I took a chance and stopped to talk to her when I saw her outside of her house. Five minutes into it, I knew I needed my hair recolored and that I'm out of shape, this all being said by a totally gray haired fat woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 513

You deserved it 184

Today, my daughter tried to argue with me that Scandinavia isn’t a real place. She’s 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 244

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 347

You deserved it 4 912

Same thing different taste

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