You know your life sucks when....

You post the first comment

Because I happened to check read them at a certain time? You were 16 so what's your point? At least I didn't write "FIRST"

...you have friends on a porn site?

27 that's what I was thinking, I didnt know social networking applied to porn too

instead of poking people, you send faps!

Friends on Facebook = Acquaintances + Good Friends + Family Members

Friends on Porn site = Desperate Creepers + Possibly hot porn-stars + Freaks

Sounds like you're more active on the porn site.

Forget Facebook, I predict Porn Hub to be the next big social network.

mattbc97 has fapped to you.
Fap Back • Ignore

Why on Earth would anyone even want a porn account? What extra features are made available with an account?

Lol. "Noot noot, motherf•cker!"

more ppl are fapping than FB apping.

Oh look my FML got accepted

^Happy Birthday.

Happy birthday Matt :-) !

Happy Birthday Matt! ;)

He officially got more Happy Birthday messages on fml now. You need to meet more people...

^ win
btw Fappy Birthday!

I'm guessing you got a big weener?

lol i didn't know that either #30

Get any free porn?

FREE HD PRON!!

OMG, I LOVE HD "PRON"!!!!

I had a.... Oh wait I've never had a pet....forever alone.

Yo, HD porn is almost never free. They always make you pay for the good stuff.

Free HD PRON!!!!! FTW!!!!!!!

Tron Porn?

Lol these are the best comments I've seen too funny

84- you were supposed to say Tron Pron

I realized what I just said was wrong and stupid. Please thumb me down.

^^ No need to ask! (:

Ohhh that sucks, maybe u should get more friends???

One does not simply get more friends

No, one simply makes more friends.

I tried that. The jumper cables just won't bring them to life like I saw in the movie.

Keep in mind that "make" and "create" are completely different terms in this situation. Took me years to get it right

EDIT: my comment seems a little dickish now that you're there 39...

What's hatsune miku doing on here in the first place?

Maybe you should learn how to spell "you."

What is this ”friends” which you speak of, and where can I get some?!

Shut the fuck up!!! Grammar nazis cn eat a dick. If someone writes the letter "u" then U obviously got wat they were sayin even tho they made it shorter or left a letter out. U still kno wat they meant so shut up we r not in skool or a professional setting so there is no need to spell everything correctly

Cobalt - Please read the commenting rules, especially that part about TXT language being forbidden here.

I'm not even going to bother correcting all your stupid txt-isms. I'm just going to let your spelling of "skool" speak for itself.

On a porn site.

maybe you should be less of a jerk.

at least you know the people on the porn website care about you

What I want to know is how they wished OP happy birthday with one hand 0.o

Maybe it was webcam chat?

Ooor maybe it was a simple 'Happy birthday' post on their profile?

Oh no! Here we go again with the birthday wishes = real friendship nonsense.

Yeah, just keep telling yourself that. People on your porn site really care more because they said, "Happy Birthday" and didn't forget. I wish you a good life with those true and loyal friends! Cheers!

Theyre so thoughtful that they even dressed up in their birthday suits.

@15 ppl can be very creative with just one hand....

Maybe the higher number of birthday wishes on the porn site has to do with more people going on the porn site?;) A lot of people check Facebook though, it would be interesting to see if social media or porn sites were viewed more often.

How many friends do you have on there? Lol

I'm guessing 97 from the title of the FML.

And are they all naked?

OP has less friends than the number of pornstars on the website, which still isn't saying much...

A happy birthday wish is a happy birthday wish no matter where it comes from.

Ha!

Ha, no.

H0T Busty [email protected] says:
"Happy Birthday Big Boy!"

Well... Now you know who your real friends are!

Yup:) weirdos that have nothing Better to do than ya nooo....

why does one's value have to be measured through acceptance of a social network site? Come on, really?

That's because you pay for the porn and not your friends

So... Your a porn actreess?

Yup, that's exactly what it means. Mans u be smartz.

I don't know if erroneous is a great term to be using on FML. It's way too brainy, even for the nerds.