Today, I went to Starbucks to get coffee. The employees told me that there was no more coffee. I started cursing at them and told them that I am in a really big hurry, and that I need coffee every day. They had been yelling back the whole time. Little did I realize, they were saying April Fool's. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to admit that my coffee addiction is really bad when I woke up in a Starbucks with no memory of how I got there. FML
Today, my boss fired me because I "didn't get the right kind of coffee beans." FML
Today, I walked into Starbucks for a job application. I asked the manager if they were hiring, as I really need a job. He looked me up and down and replied, "NO!" There was a 'Now hiring' sign in the window. FML
Today, I went to Starbucks to get my free birthday coffee and due to a mistake I received two. Thinking it was my lucky day, I hurried off to work. As I was walking in, I tripped and spilt one coffee all over my new dress. Then I walked into a door and spilt the other. FML
Today, I stopped at Starbucks to get tea before work and was surprised that there wasn't a line. As I was leaving, the automatic door closed, knocking my tea out of my hand. I headed back in, only to discover a huge line had formed and they made me pay for the replacement that their door spilled. FML
Today, at work, a customer came in and ordered a "Butterbeer Frappuccino." When I said we serve no such thing, she yelled at me for "lying" to her, saying she knew about our "secret menu." She ended up complaining to my manager and demanded that he fire me. FML
Today, I was late for work and got chewed out by my boss. To console myself I decided to drink a cup of coffee and a cup of tea. My work provides this for free. When I did, my boss told me that in fact it wasn't, nor has it ever been, free; all this time I've been stealing other people's coffee. FML
Today, I went into a small coffee shop. In line, a guy came up to me and was like, "I haven't seen you here before, are you new in town?" and I replied with, "Oh, no I've lived here for years. The coffee here is crap, though, so I only come here when Starbucks is full." He's the owner of the shop. FML
Today, a customer screamed at me, because her iced coffee tasted exactly like coffee, and she hates coffee. Sadly, this isn't even the most insane person I've had to deal with at this job. FML
Today, I went to my favorite coffee shop, ordered my usual, smiled at the barista I have a crush on, and confidently said, "You too!" when they told me to enjoy my drink. I have to find a new coffee shop. FML
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Top comments
sleepless15_p 0
You are an asshole. Why would you be so rude to the employees anyways?
Stupidpeople 0
If i'd of been working in the shop i'd of refused to serve you after being so rude.....or added a little something special when making the drink!! hehe!!
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Comments (238)
nova6416 0
i am also a starbucks employee. Its coffee. Its never worth yelling at some poor sap trying to make a buck and has nothing to do with what is in stock. You are the kind of people that make us want to quit our jobs and go shoot kittens all day because you prove that there can be so little worth left in humanity so there is no purpose in anything. Ok, so its an over-extrapolation of how I and/or we feel. Either way you make us hate our job.
ianmoore1994 0
I work at a dairy queen........AMEN
Yogirl1223 0
ahaha, omg you must have felt like such a dumbass
zap_fml 0
You're a dick.
Jimboom 12
Ha ha. I see potential for a new reality tv show here. People and their caffeine comedowns. Split them into 2 groups or something and the group that wins they get coffee as a reward. But as an added bit of fun only 1 of the cups is actually full caff coffee. The rest are decaff! And you could have crazy tasks that humiliate the freaky caffeine addicts like in this big pile of dirt we have stirred in 1 teaspoon of coffee. See if you can find it. Or, this cup of espresso has been made with dirty toilet water. Offer it to them after they have gone without coffee for a few days and see who cracks first. :-P Better than any of that big brother crap!
steveakafranxy 7
it's spelled decaf, but otherwise well said
cesarm 0
you need coffee? make yourself one.
tincan 0
brain controlled by caffeine
deliciouskaek 1
Maybe what you need is less coffee. =/ Honestly, calm the hell down.
Tick_fml 0
yeah, I bet you feel like a fool now. if you need coffee that bad, go home, and make a call to a rehab. you're addicted and need help. or you're just a douche.
blackdogassault 0
...Okay, you do realize you're a damn addict, right...? You need treatment. YDI for not hearing people.
elfuzzo 0
You're an asshole. I second #10's suggestion, you'd be doing the entire world a favour.