Today, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both drunk. We went into the bathroom, she started to give me head. After about 30 seconds the song changes and she jumps up and goes out to dance, leaving me there. Door open. Penis out. It was the song she requested. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, and my drunk best friend knocked on our door. We screamed 'go away' and she still opened the door. She then saw us, and asked if she can join. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML
Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I went on a first date. She got plastered within the first hour, then a song came on in the restaurant and she told me, "This song's about meeeeee." FML
Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
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Top comments
trackrunner525 0
lmao, that sucks man...blue balls :-p
coloradodude12 0
Ouch. But she was drunk.
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Comments (170)
princess514 0
Wow 137, your intelligence impresses me. Thanks for reminding us to capitalize and check spelling and choose appropriate screen names. Next time you post a comment, remember, it moderates them and checks them BEFORE it posts, so you don't need to type out your well thought comment twice. And generalizations, like, all sorority girls are *****, is SO clever and original, and of course, no exceptions to the stereotype can exist.... Just like all college students are drinkers and all young kids are irresponsible. I'm pretty sure we all know it's not true.
RandyRuestsgirl 0
Oh honey I feel so bad for u. I couldnt do that to my boyfriend no matter what. Like if u were my boyfriend I wouldnt do that 2 u. Sorry that was an example.
As4me 0
sooooo something i would do to my boyfriend
daarlingdamsel 0
Bahaha, that's what you get when you try to get some dumb ass drunk chick to suck you off in a public bathroom! I do not feel bad for you at all lol.
sangitashres 0
This is most hilarious one
silly_kate 0
uh.........no comment......lol!
loko09 0
dam! if that was me i would of said *** dat she can wait
DeathlyHumor 0
well thats what you get for dating a sorority ****...shoulda known better.
Poet_Sin 0
To everybody on here badmouthing sorority girls, STFU. Not every girl who joins a sorority is a *****. I'm in a sorority. I'm also a virgin and have never been drunk, and I'm proud of that.
SaturnE_fml 0
You'd have more money if you were ******.
brookiebaby16 1
fyl