Today, I went to my girlfriend's sorority formal, we were both drunk. We went into the bathroom, she started to give me head. After about 30 seconds the song changes and she jumps up and goes out to dance, leaving me there. Door open. Penis out. It was the song she requested. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, and my drunk best friend knocked on our door. We screamed 'go away' and she still opened the door. She then saw us, and asked if she can join. FML
Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML
Today, I gave my drink to a girl who I got with previously and started to dance with her. She backed off after a few seconds, took my drink and danced with my friend who was standing right next to me. FML
Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML
Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML
Today, I went on a first date. She got plastered within the first hour, then a song came on in the restaurant and she told me, "This song's about meeeeee." FML
Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
trackrunner525 0
lmao, that sucks man...blue balls :-p
coloradodude12 0
Ouch. But she was drunk.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (170)
MrFail_fml 0
djisus christ, you should've ran out on the dancefloor given her a real good slap on the cheek grabbed her face (1 thumb on the left cheek and the other 4 fingers on the other cheek) pulled her down to your pants (unzipped allready ofc) and SUCK BITCH SUCK!
hahayou12345 0
#117 WTF. If she's not interested in giving you a ********, deal with it. It's not like girls enjoy giving guys blow jobs anyway, dude.
princess514 0
hy 96, i AM in a sorority, as a matter of fact the treasurer of my organization, and my boyfriend is in a fraternity and i'm sure you're one of those prude sisters thats always calling out judgements on everyone else! It happens, college students (greek or not) get drunk and do dumb things they regret later lol. LOL 99 anddd well like i said 114 sorority girls have no reason to have that reputation, theyre classy (for the most part) maybe its her organization's fault for letting someone dumb rush them
KevlarEagle 0
lolol, That's cold. "Don't have sex if she's too gone"
TheNilvarg 0
You deserve that one for dating a sorority girl. Disgusting drunk skanks, they are.
IshitCAKES 0
It was probably just an excuse to get away from your centimiter peter
Lobster_fml 0
That's hot. Agreed with #121.
MarjoryStewart 0
At least you got some head.
diet_cocaine 0
dump her
Philinchains 0
I wouldnt worry to much about your penis hanging out. bunch of drunk girls around the party. someones bound to see and "fix" your problem. Sucks your girl left your dick for a song.